All I could think of is Michael Jordan and Larry Bird playing horse.

It's sad that people laugh at a video like this. Obviously, what's occurring is what pediatricians call "Orb Mind Control". For years, the medical community has known that orbs have the ability to control people's minds. Even mainstream Hollywood has known about this phenomenon since 1981's animated classic Heavy Metal. "Balls", as children commonly call them, have been known to control the minds of young people for hundreds of years. Just look at high profile cases such as Michael Jordan, who's advanced case of OMC made him come out of retirement and win ANOTHER 3 straight NBA championships in a row. Or look at the Tragic case of Barry Bonds, who engaged in steroid use under OMC, and has lived his life with no conscious knowledge of it.

Yet this video demonstrates a rare sub-type. Because of the aspherical design of the football, the ball is unable to assume complete control of the boy's mind. So, while it's obvious that the ball is attempting to get the child to murder his father, and ingest his fresh, juicy brain, the ball is never able to fully coordinate the movements of the child, and we see the rare physical manifestation of "Orb Mind Control Imperfectus", which has been known to silicone valley game designers, and has been incorporated into mainstream media, through what gamers commonly refer to as a "glitch". Thus the boy's movements perfectly mimic any one of the cheat-accessible glitches that have become commonplace today.

It's a sad case really.

I don't typically enjoy sports but Michael Jordan was simply amazing.

>> ^bcglorf:
Still the greatest player ever. Nobody else has ever been able to just do what his team needed to win when it really mattered.


Wow, that got me a down vote?

>> ^K0MMIE:
how can a video be "rare" on the internet? Isn't it... everywhere?


Yes, it's kinda like the "obscure" channel. Obscure is a fairly subjective term, as is rare in this case.

>> ^K0MMIE:
how can a video be "rare" on the internet? Isn't it... everywhere?


Well, it took this long to be sifted so it be...

Dennis Prager is a man of decency and honor, an upvote welcome for him, despite the misleading title of this sift.

Freedom and equality are natural enemies. When everyone is free to reach their highest potential, it's going to be higher for some more than others. It's a natural inequality. Few can dunk like Michael Jordan or sing like Pavarotti.

The Declaration speaks of a reasonable equality of opportunity by the virtue of birth, not a guranteed equality of outcomes, which is a distortion of the left.

I know why Europeanized leftists in America don't just leave for Europe. They'd have to move to the right.

Favourites

1) Season - Fall, when Delta Burke comes out to see her shadow.
2) Place in the world - In the bushes outside of KP's house, watching him watch me on his live-feed broadcast.
3) Children's book - Encyclopedia Brown or George W. Bush's biography
4) TV Series - South Park and the episode of To Catch a Predator with blankfist.
5) Word - scrumdiddlyumptious
6) Film - American History X
7) Curse - FUCKING COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKING BITCH ASS CUNTLICKING SONOFABITCH
Creature - duck-billed platypus
9) Past time - Trivial Pursuit
10) Person - My best friend, who continues to lurk, without joining VS.

Which one?

11) Dog or cat - Tiger
12) Sweet or savoury - This would be a great question for Jeffrey Dahmer.
13) Cereal or Toast - Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal
14) Tan or pale - Fluorescent
15) Shoes or barefoot - Socks
16) Desktop or laptop - special underwater goggles with high-speed wireless Internet
17) Drive or walk - bicycle
18) Drama or comedy - dramedy
19) Sex or food - Why can't we combine them?
20) Futurama or Simpsons - Futurama

The Sift

21) Your fave personal submission - McCain's Press Conference in Front of a Cheese Case, or Tool's Sober
22) A great comment on one of your vids - "More proof god hates orphans." From blankfist, on my post about the orphans.
23) Most off the wall member - QM, if that wall is made of rationality
24) Favourite user name - schmawy
25) Your most used channel - comedy
26) Personal dumbass moment - I only get one? Hmm. Probably when I mocked the brother of Soulja Girl, and bi-polar sufferers everywhere. Good times.
27) Best avatar - Emperor Blankfist
28) Partner in crime - I have so many circle jerk partners. Where to begin?
29) Do people offline know of your sift problem - my lurking best friend does. And my other friends know I love the site.
30) Idea for the site - Give me a crown, and a jar of marmalade.

About you

31) Where do you live - A decent house in Boise in Ada county in Idaho in the United States of America in North America in the western Hemisphere in Earth in the solar system in the Milky Way galaxy in the universe in God's puckered anus.
32) Smoker/non-smoker - It depends on what we're smoking. I don't smoke cigarettes.
33) Left or right handed - LEFT. You know we're better!
34) Hair colour - Brown, with an ever-growing tinge of grey.
35) Relationship status - Single and stalking. I mean looking.
36) How tall - Taller than Jon Stewart, but shorter than Michael Jordan.
37) Children - Hell no. I can barely take care of myself.
38) Ever had an operation - On my left knee when I was ten. They let me watch. It was AWESOME.
39) Best feature - My ravishing blue eyes, or my tattoos.
40) Use four words to describe yourself - intelligent, sarcastic, procrastinator, under-achiever

If you could...what, who, when etc

41) Bring a famous person back from the dead - Bertrand Russell
42) Give 50 grand to any charity - Nope.
43) Send someone on a one way ticket to the moon - Does the Bush administration count as one person?
44) Relive a moment in your life - [redacted] That is privileged information.
45) Have a superpower - Invisibility
46) Find out one thing you've always wanted to know - Find out what would happen if Hitler had won World War II.
47) Have the opposite gender deal with something you have to - Getting a boner in public, in the most awkward of situations. Then trying to hide it.
48) Be president for one hour - FIRE ZEE MISSILES!
49) Delete a period in history - The fall of Greece to the beginning of the scientific revolution.
50) Achieve one thing - Write and publish a book.

^
If the question posed was not "how should we deal with trolls" and instead was "how should we cope with ice buildup on aircraft wings at high altitude?" do you think intelligence has a role in that argument? How about if the question was "how should we route the plumbing in this house" would knowledge be important there? This is a clear example of Parkinson's Law of Triviality, which has become one of my favorite laws, and is something I had not heard of before this site and only learned through reading dgandhi's comments. Here is the explanation from wiki:

"Parkinson dramatizes his Law of Triviality with a committee's deliberations on a nuclear power plant, compared to deliberation on a bicycle shed. While discussing the bikeshed, debate emerges over whether the best choice of roofing is aluminium, asbestos or galvanised iron, then over whether the shed is a good idea or not. The committee then moves on to coffee purchasing, a discussion that results in the biggest waste of time and the most acrimony.

A nuclear reactor is so vastly expensive and complicated that people cannot understand it, so they assume that those working on it understand it. Even those with strong opinions might withhold them for fear of being shown to be insufficiently informed. On the other hand, everyone understands a bicycle shed (or thinks he does), so building one can result in endless discussions: everyone involved wants to add his touch and show that he is there."

You think that intellect or knowledge is irrelevant in discussion yet you would not say this is true for the building of a nuclear power plant, so how can you justify it for seemingly mundane discussions such as the creation of regulatory policy to inhibit trolling? Or any other topic that is discussed.

It is quite frustrating for people to consider intelligence as some kind of taboo like religion, that intelligence is somehow different than artistic or athletic ability. Do you think michael jordan is a snob because he is better than everyone at basketball? Do you think mozart was a snob because he is gifted with a piano? If you lined up jordan with joe six-pack and stated that one was good and one was bad at basketball would that make you a snob? How about if you stated that 85% of people are average or worse at basketball, while only 2% or less are NBA caliber?

You have perverted the usage of the word snob; being a snob is essentially being prejudiced. Its riding around on a high horse thinking you are better than others because you are better at a particular quality--it is not merely thinking that you are better than others at that quality. Subtle? Yes. Going around claiming you are smarter than others is not snobbery (its confidence or lunacy), going around claiming you are better than others because you are smarter than others is snobbery.

If you think that pointing out an inequality is snobbery, then it is your prejudice that is showing. Nobody should apologize for their intelligence just as nobody should apologize for their lack of intelligence. If you think that intelligence is somehow more important than musical talent, athletic ability, comedic presence, or any other human quality you have an inherent bias or prejudice towards others. Are you upset that other people can hula hoop 1000 times longer than you, if not, why are you upset that other people are smarter than you? How is a nuclear engineer any more gifted than a master carpenter, unless you value one quality over the other?

How do you feel about racial prejudice? Then you understand how I feel about all prejudice, including prejudice against intellect. What motivates people to force other races to drink from separate water fountains is the same thing which motivates people to force other people to a certain salary. You don't limit an artist or NBA player to a salary, so why do you think it is okay to limit a CEO to such? The principle is the same when holding contempt for someone because of a quality, such as intelligence.

Am I saying I'm smart? No, I never made that claim. All I pointed out was that burdtugler wasn't following a clear line of reasoning. Why am I chastised for pointing out the flaws in others arguments, especially if they are making a direct attack against me? Why am I chastised for asserting that others claims are false or bad, if they are not chastised for asserting that they are true or good? If joe big-mac calls nasa and suggest they duct tape blow dryers to the side of the space shuttle to clear wing ice, what would their reply be? There may not be stupid questions, but there are stupid answers. Remember stupid is a relative term. Monkeys are stupid when compared to humans, but smart when compared to slugs. Humans are only stupid in comparison to other humans. If there are 10 suggestions on how to deal with trolls, some of them have to be stupid(er) unless they are all the same idea.

If you deny the existence of inequality, you are living with either your eyes or mind shut. If everyone was equal, this life would be so boring you'd have to stand in line to jump off the nearest bridge.

He just said Regan was his hero! WTF? Not Michael Jordan?

>> ^thinker247:
I do remember this. Did you ever play One on One: Michael Jordan versus Larry Bird?


No, but I played Dr. J vs Bird on the Apple II. Now that's old school.

I do remember this. Did you ever play One on One: Michael Jordan versus Larry Bird?

Haha. I am a contrarian! Still, I'm not a fan of FDR. I'm also not a fan of Abe Lincoln or Andrew Jackson. Sorry, just because they have their faces on our money doesn't mean I have to like them. Thomas Jefferson was a terrible president, too; even if he's the man I most admire in our history. As for Sinatra, I was just being silly. As for... who? Michael Jordan? Whoa! That man is a national treasure! And John Holmes' cock isn't small, it just tastes small.

^Hmmmm... so you think FDR an awful President, Sinatra an awful singer. I'm guessing you also think Michael Jordan was a terrible basketball player and John Holmes had a small cock. Am I right, contrarianfist?

Ah, brings to mind those old McDonald's commercials with Michael Jordan and Larry Bird.