*dark

Adding video to channels (Dark) - requested by Zifnab.

Oooohh snap. That WAS dark.

Brilliant.

"I'll never forget the way she looked with the steam just RISING above her body on those cold mornings."

The onion really has genius writers.

Well, you have to admit, once a gymnast reaches the late teens they're past their prime anyway. Can't fault the parents for letting their daughter die with dignity.

She's from the Johnson & Johnson family, and she will continue to support the cohesion of the family in her afterlife as glue.

It would be entirely unfortunate if she did die this year...

And can you imagine writing that knowing she's probably going to see it?

Sexy surgeries for fall!

Oh wow. I just assumed "Shawn Johnson" was some fictional gymnast they made up. It's a bit fucked up when it's a real girl, who may not have completely monstrous parents. Though certainly the people behind the gymnastics and horse racing industries deserve this sort of ridicule.

Beautiful... That was probably the best skit I've seen on the onion. The worst is that this is what "news" morning shows are like. Scathing.

For some more humour click through to the YouTube page and read some of the comments....Just WOW!

I'm tempted to squeeze this into the external links section on her wikipedia page.

Truly, youtube comments are often more entertaining than the videos.

Oh wow...

http://www.videosift.com/video/Shawn-Johnson-Ortega-makes-my-taco-pop

*length=2:28

The duration of this video has been updated from unknown to 2:28 - length declared by oritteropo.

Pay attention, kids! Gymnastics can be fun. has been added as a related post - related requested by oritteropo on that post.