My Mom died a little over a month ago (right after Christmas). She had been ill for a while, but it was still unexpected and still a shock. I am an only child and we were very close. I still have a lot of the same feelings as Lev has expressed.

She was a wonderful person who had just retired and was only 59. I miss her every day and expect to continue to do so for the rest of my life. I still have a lot of emotion tied up inside me and I have not yet found a good way to let it out.

I'm not really sure why I'm saying this all here. I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, it just feels like I should let a bit of it out.

*quality *doublepromote

Boosting this quality contribution up in the Hot Listing - declared quality by Zifnab.

Double-Promoting this video back to the front page; last published Monday, February 4th, 2013 10:08am PST - doublepromote requested by Zifnab.

I feel you. My father died soon to be a year ago, not even into his mid 60's. While not exactly in good health, he wasn't terminally ill either. It was a shock but similarly to Levni, I had the idea in my head long before hand. "So be it."

It gets better ya'll, just remember the good times, I went through a rough spot from 2005 to 2008, then after everything came to an "end", I spent the next few years in a daze, ended up getting anti-depressants that worked, and the past 2 years have been a lot better. Long story short, dad died in April of 05, buried him on my birthday, mom had a stroke a month later, then 3 months later I started taking care of my grandmother with dementia, then after seeing my mom languish in a nursing home for 3 years, in June of 08 my grandmother passed, then my mom passed ten days later.

!!! heartbreaking! the video just ended! it is just like how he sees and says it.

powerful (and prayers from me to anyone that has last someone special)

Well I don't know what else to say except my Dad died last July and, yeah, I had no clue how I was going to feel about it. I'm having trouble coping and I'm having trouble letting people know that I'm having trouble coping, which I'm sure isn't helping but I don't know how, except maybe telling some strangers on the Internet.

We'll all be here many times during our lives if we start creeping past 50-The burden and joy of ahead-of-the-herd longevity....part of the dance-don't get so attached to your perception of the experience to let it bring you anything but joy and comfort , pain and pleasure, all only experienced in this particular human incarnation.
Savor it, it flies right the hell back out the window as soon as it lights on your sill

Both dark and happy in a way. "*melancholy" ?

Talking about it helps. No matter where, no matter to whom.

Start a twitter account about it. Don't advertise. Be anonymous. Just blab. If people read it, who cares. Just get it out. Most times, just seeing what you've been thinking in print makes you change your mind and go, "well that was stupid" or even "hey, EVERYBODY says that, I'm not alone".

Too much -- there's too much fucking perspective now.