Whether you're participating in a televised wedding such as this one, or attending a normal wedding, there's simply no better way to utterly derail someone's special day than striking the bride with a vicious kung-fu style kick to the gut. It works on two levels. First, the concept of violence toward women is especially disquieting, and second, bystanders will be stunned by how perfectly executed your vicious kung-fu kick was. Also, feel free to throw a couple of follow-up punches to make sure your point got across, and consider also running across the room to kick someone else in the torso as long as the cat's out of the bag.