See that Wells Fargo, that's where I bank.
See that hand lotion, that's how I wank.

See my skull cane, that's how I got style.
Turbo Tax Deluxe, that's how I file.

My mad skills will own you, make some more popcorn
My bad pills will kill you, make some Dumbledore porn

Cheese and Macaroni, that's what I eat.
Paging Dr. Schols, there's corns on my feet.

Unemployed benefit gave me a bankroll
That's how I'm down with my flash fuckin video

My muthafuckin' toilet got fuckin' clogged
Now I use empty boxes to leave all my logs

(^Based on a true story.)

I work at a *********, make silly drinks all day
Tall, Grande, Venti - whichever frigging way
Want extra shots, it's gonna cost you some
Ask 'What's a Venti' and I just think you're dumb

(Store name masked to protect the innocent!)
=)

See that mole, that shit is cancer.
My favorite reindeer, that bitch is Prancer.

When I fight with my mom, I tend to cry.
Ahhh, c'mon fuck a guy!

I sit at my desk, and scribble away,
I listen to music that isn't this gay.

Booo! He's NOT ALL THAT!
Awww! He's a trash talkin' twat.

I drive a black beetle
I dress all Black
oh My goth
I suck at this Rap

lol*

He's wearing pajamas with gold plated tat
He's the neighborhood shit, he's so phat.

Actually Chuggos clinically overweight
The dumb shit can't get a date. Word.

*NSFW bitch, shit, fuck fuck
guns, whoes, bling bling, etc etc

This video has been flagged as being Not Suitable For Work - declared nsfw by Zonbie.

I'll make your silly mouths water, muthafuckas!
Gonna make some biscuits and use lots of butta!

He misspelled "Choggie"..

^I almost made this a Choggie tribute.

That piano hook is a slowed down version of an old Nas tune, off the Halftime album. Biter.

See this fur on my face, it's because I'm a dog
And that mess on the grass? It's my self made log.

See this thing round my neck? Well that is my collar
And when I see a bitch walk by I always have to holler

See this gap between my legs, there should be my balls
And because I can't screw I get into lots of brawls

Oh... and it's a truly, truly terrible song and video.

>> ^mintbbb:
I work at a , make silly drinks all day
Tall, Grande, Venti - whichever frigging way
Want extra shots, it's gonna cost you some
Ask 'What's a Venti' and I just think you're dumb
(Store name masked to protect the innocent!)
=)



.. Hooters?

I'm a dumb bald wiggy with a skull and cane-o,
You rhymin' all cloggy while my rap be Drano,
My favorite city in Texas, that would be Plano,
Dana Plato played with Play-Doh now the b;tch is K.O.

I look like M. Chicklis from Fantastic Four
Those movies were dickless and the worst I evah saw
But I like the SAW movies, cuz they were raw
I'm like the thorn in a lion that was in his paw.

at 3:30, you can clearly see that the proper title of this song is:
"AH C'mon f#cking guy"
not "AHHH C'mon fuck a guy"
sheesh.


lol*$%^

^shhhhh

Chuggo's in the closet with that look in his eye.
Ahhh! C'mon, Fuck a Guy!

Best rapper ever, amirite?
This shit be really fuckin' tight!

I walked into a door
And I hurt my left eye
Now I'm wincing in pain
Just like I'm Popeye
AHHHH, Guh-Guh-Guh!

Woke inna flash, to find the pants gone;
Asleep at the ballpark, an' no trousers on....
Broke into a run, and started th' twitch....
Gee Jesus Golly, San Sonofabitch-

,,,"that hoydens' th' Prancer, anner sisters' s vixen',
I'll dasher and Donner, on Cupid and Blitzen...."

((:

Am I a bad person if I thought it was da bomb?
I like it so much it's my new theme song!

Chuggo got the rap game down like a gravity well
His clever lyrics resonate like a church bell!

With his shiny bald head, he obviously
Underwent serious chemotherapy!

It takes a Mad Gangsta to beat Lukemia
Spittin ill rhymes and generaly messin with ya!

Cereal this morning? thinkin bout apple jacks
Go to the cabinet, it's just kashi almond and flax

Also based on a true story

ah ain't got no lips, that's how I'm fly
consider myself lucky, 'cause they can't get dry

shut your pie hole you say?
well that's how I rap
your sister had no complaints
she's the one on my lap

Yeah, it's pretty bad... But, it is still better than half the rap being put out by the big record companies today.

Seriously, I would take that over Soulja Boy or Mims any day.

You see that lava lamp? Bitches love that shit
When they see it they wanna get on my dick
It's just they don't come over no more
Once my mom started greeting them at the door

I ain't been laid in 5 years and you wonder why?
Ahhh! C'mon, fuck a guy!

My rhymes are as tight as Vern Troyer is tall
I won my skull staff with a ticket from a skee-ball
I pretend women really like me because my heads really shiny
The fact of the matter is my weiners really tiny
I think my videos awsome and will give me lots of power
Actually I did it at Kinkos, it was ready in an hour
I think I'm the best rapper, Jay-Z is just a fool
Well... at least my mom thinks I'm cool
....AHHH!!! C' MON F$%# A GUY!!!!

Listerine in my mouth, that's what I spit
Too much cheese in my diet, that's what I shit.

"Chuggo was featured as a wanted top 10 criminal on the 222-tips website, with Canadian authorities seeking to apprehend him for creating possibly the worst music in history. He was later jailed for an absolute lack of talent and being a complete failure at life in general. Chuggo only spent 6 months in jail after being anally destroyed for consistently yelling out "AAAARRRRGH C'mon, fuck a GUY", which attracted inmates attention somewhat."

http://www.rapdict.org/Chuggo

Barbie the video game, that's what you play
Outrageous gas prices, that's what you pay
Clint Eastwood in the movie, go ahead make my day
Blankfist in your bed, that's why you're gay

AHHHHH, this thread's running dry!

I love me some bitches, I treat 'em like meat.
Snufalufagus is on Sesame Street.

Back the fuck up 'fore I lay your ass down.
Coulrophobia is the fear of a clown.

I mass-murder grandmas in mobile home parks.
I lift my left leg when I bust out my farts.

I never give my parents anniversary gifts.
dystopianfuturetoday is a pillar of Sift.

DFT and blankfist are two funny guys.
They got me crackin' up, I got tears in my eyes.

I don't know how to stop so I'll just say goodbye.
Like Will and Grace said: AHHH! Come on fuck a guy!

Sifters try to rap, hoping for a star
See that Siftbot, he's our czar

See that comment, hit the up-vote
If I had more star points, I would *promote

It's a big circle jerk in the sky
Ahhh! C'mon, Fuck a Guy!

Zifnab cannot promote this post because Zifnab does not have enough Power Points. (You can always purchase more Power Points.)

Monotony, thats how I deliver
Think it's cancer? It's cirrhosis of the liver

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag.(show it anyway)

Hi all, guess what? This post is about to get us kicked out of our advertising network. Let's *discuss it.

This video is being sent to Sift Talk for discussion - discuss requested by dag.

What's the problem? The advertising network needs to understand what user generated content really is, if they are taking some sort of offense to this.
(I would *return, but obviously you have some point to make, dag?)

Your advertising network is run by cunts to pander to cunts.

>> ^dag:
Hi all, guess what? This post is about to get us kicked out of our advertising network. Let's discuss it.


WTF?! Hey dag, can you elaborate as to why this 'particular' video posting is rupturing the siftiverse??

I don't know enough to even know how or why this would be a problem...
(unless the whoaful whoaful attempt at music from Chuggs or whatever he is is the reason)

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag.(show it anyway)

According to the rep, several sponsors have complained, this violates the terms of your agreement, blah, blah blah.

Yeah, we need more specifics. Precisely what do they find objectionable? The video itself, or the title, or what?

Dudes, I don't want to interfere with your ability to make a little cash with this site, but are we going to let advertisers dictate what is acceptable? Shit, we're already one of the more tasteful video sites on the web. We don't post any porn or snuff. Sure, there's a lot of stuff that's R-Rated, but so what? That's the freaking internet!

This isn't the fucking American Family Association's web site.

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag.(show it anyway)

Yes, I'm trying to find that out now. I wouldn't care so much, but this is our biggest sponsor and paying the bills would be tough if they went down the gurgler.

awesome!!! I wish I posted something that got a sponsor to threaten videosift

is it copyrighted content?

I've seen SO many videos here that are potentially more "objectionable" than this one. Here's one for starters:

http://www.videosift.com/video/Elevator

Is it because my title is "clean" and DFT's isn't? Then how about this one:

http://www.videosift.com/video/Dutch-musician-with-huge-ears-just-wants-to-fuck-you

Shit, I've posted 15 videos with "fuck" in the title. None of those bothered them?

Don't get me wrong dag, I'm not at all mad at you. It's the advertisers I'm mad at, and I'm pissed about them putting you in a vice. I understand that no ad revenue might mean no VideoSift. Fuck, are there any other big advertisers you could replace them with?

And to all of the members: Is there anyone out there that could connect VS with some other advertisers? I'm not in the biz, but maybe some of you are, or maybe you know someone who is. Let's help out dag so that we can this site free of pressure from asshole sponsors.

Wow, it surely would be interesting to know what they find objectionable in it?

There have been sifts with barely clad women in the thumbnail before
There have been sifts with the word fuck in the title before
There have been sifts alluding to gay sex before

What's their issue?

Hmmm...

Sponsor's getting itchy, thinks the video's too hard core
We all look bemused, we've seen it all before

Is it to do with the rapper, cause he is pretty lame
But if that were the case, we all could be to blame

If our raps are the problem, then please take them down
But let ol' chugga live on, don't throw him outta town

can we keep going with the rhyming here? (edit ^too late:) )

some guys in suits they see it, that's how they roll
i'm callin' super duperly executive trolls

My question is who complained to the advertisers? It's my understanding they really don't care about where their ads are seen unless some important demographic decides they're offended by the content the ad is on. I can only imagine some uptight soccer mom caught little billy watching the video, and sent off a salvo of angry emails to the advertisers.

Pray they don't see blankfist's queue.

or the "heard a good joke lately?" thread

Dag has spoken, this rap really sucks
the ad men hate it, it could cost him some bucks

The moneymen came, with their tongues all a waggin,
and when the smoke cleared, their peckers was draggin'!

"Your advertising network is run by cunts to pander to cunts."
I'd say that was fair initial assessment......we need more info.......

This is what I think about your advertising network.

VideoSift: Online Video Advertising Controlled *Quality Control

Paying the bills is the most important. You're a business. Pay them bills, dag.

.....we'll help when we can, to facilitate the meteoric mob-appeal

Do what ya' gotta do Dag. Bills must be paid.

It would be interesting to know why this is pissing of the sponsors. My guess would be that they probably think it's about gay sex - based on the title - and haven't actually watched the vid. Either that or Chuggo is a major silent sift benefactor.

Also, I used real product names in some of my mad rhymes. Perhaps that is part of it?

This is a microcosm of the problem with private media and a good example of how big money controls content. Don't get me wrong, I don't think "C'mon, Fuck a Guy" is worth losing money over, but if this were a political video I'd feel very differently.

"See that corporate dollar, that's what I lose.
If that chuggo video, is what I choose."

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag.(show it anyway)

I think this is a case of the content catching the eye of someone and pressure being applied. I hate to bow to the lords of Mammon - as a compromise I'd like to keep it here without advertising, so at least it's not going away completely.

It's interesting, our biggest sponsor is an ad network for women. That's why you might see a few ads for hair conditioner and beauty products. Given our demographics I'm not sure how this happened- but they pay well- keep the server company fed - and the ads are actually fairly low-key mainstream stuff (no "whack the monkey, win a prize" type ads). So, I will sell my soul a little bit today. (is there any left?)

Steatorrhea, now that sh't is fat
but diarrhea, no I don't want that
advertising, is how I get paid
seek new advertisers, who aren't afraid.

Are there female targeted advertisements on this page?

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag.(show it anyway)

^ Probably. Shhhh.

Let me just point out that it sounds like he says "fuck a guy", and either way, that in acronym form would be f.a.g.

Mind you I have no issues with homosexuality, but I'm guessing this guy does. I guess he's too busy getting drunk and "having sex" to figure that out.

>> ^dag:
Hi all, guess what? This post is about to get us kicked out of our advertising network. Let's discuss it.


Yet another reason for sifters to become Charter Members! No Ads.

Sorry if any sponsors were offended. The video was posted as a subject for ridicule rather than praise.

^Sure, sure. Whatever. Way to ruin Christmas for everyone else, Solo!

"It's interesting, our biggest sponsor is an ad network for women. "


People with pull and power anywhere, have always been, the females of the species....that's a groove that always get's the caregivers
a-humpin'scared..the paradigm is such, as it relates to power-Understand (ya sorry dumbasses with stilted brains an' more hard-on than sense!)......Let these powerful women breathe, and have their space in an actualization extravaganza, n' perhaps endeavor witha view to changing shit accoriding to their whims, in the direction of everyone interested in popppin' their creative sherries????........(age of Taurus baby), And the energy combined with force of will, shall perhaps, takes us to the next level in Huumandom™s .....
just sayihg, 'cause on accounta th' of the surroundings......powerful women in any group, decide th'dynamic...)only reason chog stay here..., an'ise guessin', anyone else....)

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag.(show it anyway)

Couldn't agree more Choggie. Couldn't. agree. more.

^BTW, Dag, you have yet to lay down some of dat mad Amero-Australian science. I double dog dare you.

Comment hidden because you are ignoring dag.(show it anyway)

It's hard to be a Jedi, watched over by fools
Pushed into a corner by some corporate tools
I like my independence, ahhh you know that's my thing.
But cocaine's not cheap - nor my knuckle duster bling.

And so on and so on ... that's the name of that tune.

dag

HAHAHAH!


Now I know why there is shampoo and hair color mixed in with my sift.

dag earnin' daddy votes from all of his sift children...

I just noticed an ad from the Church of Scientology in the ads by google box, when are we gonna bow to that too? This is a slippery slope, which will end in the implosion of Videosift. I'm bitter and angry.

^..and drunk.

^and have a little chub going for this awesome video...

^...and drunk.

somehow you make more sense rapping. you should do it more often

>> ^choggie:
Woke inna flash, to find the pants gone;
Asleep at the ballpark, an' no trousers on....
Broke into a run, and started th' twitch....
Gee Jesus Golly, San Sonofabitch-
,,,"that hoydens' th' Prancer, anner sisters' s vixen',
I'll dasher and Donner, on Cupid and Blitzen...."

^ ^only slightly.

Now that I've actually seen the video all the way through, I have no idea how it got so many votes. Camp value? It's probably dft's rapper-game, that got the ball rolling. The video itself should have been automatically discarded due to negative votes, imo.

That said, we have way "worse" videos on the sift.

http://img233.imageshack.us/img233/3994/vsscreenpq8.jpg

Does ^ this mean what I think it means, dag?

Also kind of ironic, the sift that this particular ad was supposed to show up with

omg, omg, i laughed so hard at this.. omg,... a little bit of wee came out.. that's the funniest vid i've seen in a while.... omg. that is hilarious..

*return why is this hiding out in plain sight.

Returning this video from Sift Talk - return requested by joedirt.

*promote this thread

Promoting this video back to the front page; last published Wednesday, August 20th, 2008 4:34pm PDT - promote requested by rasch187.

I forgot about this bomb ass dope ass video
This crunk mugfah chuggo should get his own talk show

I feel you guys should know I am an eskimo
But this mugfah Chuggo just makes me want to flo!

All up in my face, man what's your issue?
I'm just shittin in your closet; socks for toilet tissue

fightin 'gainst the man at the police station
ice cream and cake, its a celebration

"I bought this staff at Party-CD
In my garage there is a green-screen
See that guy with a bible
That's called a priest
Aint nobody identifies professions like me"

As terrible he may be, Chuggo is only #5 on http://www.videosift.com/video/8-Most-Unintentionally-Hilarious-Amateur-Music-Videos-1

One placeholder vote has been reclaimed by user EDD - reclaimvote declared by EDD.

Hah, this was returned? Good stuff. *quality

Boosting this quality contribution up in the Hot Listing - declared quality by gwiz665.

*douchebag

im impressed

two to three syllables,
is all i can speak

this video hurts my eyes
cmon fuck a guy

I'm in school as I listen to this
That's how I learn

Sitting in the cafè, drinking hot coffee
That's why it burns

Decent young people all around me
So I'm not concerned

I'm in between classes, killing time
That's how my mind churns

C'mon Videosift, let's keep these rhymes going
Now it's your turn

hahaha i have an ad for a browser game called "the pimps" next to it. the motto is "rule the streets! pimp up ya [sic] life!". Now that's more matching this video than conditioner or anything else :-D

This video is more tacky than "I'm on a boat"
I think it is time for another *promote!

Promoting this video back to the front page; last published Wednesday, January 28th, 2009 6:32pm PST - promote requested by Ornthoron.

Nice promote, and I'm proud to claim Chuggo as a fellow *Canadaian!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuggo

My clue was the Canadian $20, that's how he gets ca$h.

Adding video to channels (Canada) - requested by therealblankman.

*promote

MarineGunrock cannot promote this post because MarineGunrock does not have enough Power Points - ignoring promote request by MarineGunrock. (You can always purchase more Power Points.)

I wanna have sex but my dick is too small
But I'm a huge liar, so I'll say I screwed them all
I still can get no play, even though I'm on the tube
Come on fuck a guy, or just let me see some boob
I'm going to say you did, even though you prob-ly won't
Then you'll be one more, of the girls I never bone't
My shiny bald head, got me looking like a phallus,
But the girls still run away, and they all treat me with malice
So I'm playing with myself, like my dick was made of lego
If you want me you can find me, jackin' it in San Diego