Man Caught Having Sex With Bicycle Sentenced
This was just too bizarre to not share...
Apparently, some 51 year old guy in Britain got caught having sex with a bicycle by two housekeepers at a hostel...
"The 51-year-old was naked from the waist down and when the women opened the door he paused only to ask, "What is it, hen?", before continuing to "move his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex".
The police were called and at a hearing last month Mr Stewart was placed on the sex offenders' register after admitting a sexual breach of the peace...
... The court was told that alcohol was the cause of his problems, and he was placed under the supervision of a social worker and warned that if he re-offended he would be sent to prison.
Sheriff Colin Miller added: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'. "
Mr Stewart, an unemployed bachelor, has described the incident as a misunderstanding caused by too much drink, and said claims that he was having sex with the bike were "a load of rubbish".
His solicitor Gerry Tierney described his client as a "sad little man" who was trying to tackle his drink problem. "
But yeah.... WOW... I can't decide what is more mind boggling... that someone would have sex with bicycle, or that someone would be charged with a crime for it...
Your thoughts, fellow sifters?
Apparently, some 51 year old guy in Britain got caught having sex with a bicycle by two housekeepers at a hostel...
"The 51-year-old was naked from the waist down and when the women opened the door he paused only to ask, "What is it, hen?", before continuing to "move his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex".
The police were called and at a hearing last month Mr Stewart was placed on the sex offenders' register after admitting a sexual breach of the peace...
... The court was told that alcohol was the cause of his problems, and he was placed under the supervision of a social worker and warned that if he re-offended he would be sent to prison.
Sheriff Colin Miller added: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'. "
Mr Stewart, an unemployed bachelor, has described the incident as a misunderstanding caused by too much drink, and said claims that he was having sex with the bike were "a load of rubbish".
His solicitor Gerry Tierney described his client as a "sad little man" who was trying to tackle his drink problem. "
But yeah.... WOW... I can't decide what is more mind boggling... that someone would have sex with bicycle, or that someone would be charged with a crime for it...
Your thoughts, fellow sifters?
12 Comments
MarineGunrock* comedy
That being said, the man does need help, but he should definitely NOT be put on the sex offender's list.
The phrase "Sex offender" is incredibly powerful, and to hear it be associated with someone's name - almost all people would automatically think that person to be a rapist/child molester.
I know that right now there is a lot of legislation about what qualifies someone as a sex offender. Current law dictates that anyone convicted of any act that is sexual in nature is a sex offender.
For example: public indecency (mooning/streaking) can now get you on the sex offender's list.
There is someone in my town that is on the list for that.
There is also someone that is on the list because he had consensual sex with his 17 year-old girlfriend (he was 18) and her father pressed charges.
Does that make them rapists or child molesters? Hell no. But current law is making their lives incredibly difficult for something no one should be punished for.
dagComment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)
Yeah, he shouldn't have been put on the register for sex offenders for that. I mean I'm assuming it was consensual on the bike's part.
I remember about a fetish involving sex with cars. They actually make little latex inserts for comfortable exhaust pipe insertion.
I'm not sure how you would even do a bike.
rembarAn interesting article on objectophilia and fetishism. Gives a whole new meaning to "He loves that car of his."
dagComment hidden because you are ignoring dag. (show it anyway)
Interesting. I wonder if I could get a new ... port for my MacBook.
K0MMIEHe shouldn't be charged for that... I mean as long as he owns the bike. He should be able to do with it as he pleases. Now if he was doing it to MY bike... well, he'd better marry it shotgun wedding style.
raven@ MGR, that second scenario you outlined (the 18 year old having sex with his 17 year old girlfriend) is one of those unfortunate pitfalls within our statutory rape law and happens a lot. Very unfortunate really, if a couple has an age difference and one hits a birthday first, making their activity together technically illegal for a few months... some part of me says that somehow there should be a way to appeal something like that and get the kid off the list, because certainly, that is completely unfair... I think if I was that girl, I would probably hate my parents forever, whether or not they were 'acting in my best interest', or whatever their excuse.
gorgonheapLets see Beastiality is man with animal. Homosexuality is man with man, Hetrosexuality is man with woman. So man with bike would mean he's Bisexual!
MarineGunrock^HAHAHAHAHA!
And Raven, it also depends on your local state law. In Maine, it isn't statutory rape if the age difference is <5 years.
ravenAh... yes, that would be much more rational, go Mainers... I do wonder now though, what exactly it is here in MI, because, all those years ago in high school, I had friends who were in the exact situation I outlined above, except that their parents were much more rational and never pressed any charges... but it was funny, because this was couple who had been together for a year and half already and then suddenly, overnight, what they had was technically 'statutory rape'... and there was no end to the amount of shit we gave them
gwiz665I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like
ravenI want to ride it how I like
gorgonheapGreat gwiz, now I'll never be able to listen to that queen song the same again.
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