http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/interactive/2010/nov/29/leslie-nielsen-random-quote-generator

"[Playing chess] Tanya Peters: What are you doing?
Lt. Frank Drebin (Nielsen): Oh! I was, uh, just conjugating my next move.
Peters: Your bishop's exposed.
Drebin: It's these pants."

"Doorman: Your coat, sir?
Lt. Frank Drebin (Nielsen): Yes, it is. And I have a receipt to prove it."