Do you find yourself waking up in the morning feeling refreshed? Tired of getting through your whole day without falling asleep?? Sick of thinking clearly and rationally all day!? Wish you could spend all night every night angry and agitated!!?! Well I've got the solution for you, have a baby!

Oh that's right, I used to be just like you before I tried this revolutionary old program. I'd hate my whole day feeling all normal and not-tired. I'd be guilt stricken with all those uninterrupted hours of sleep just piling up night after night. But now that I've started my program of "having baby," I can breathe easy during my day knowing that I've just spent a fulfilling night trying to figure out if the baby is hungry, tired, dirty, cold, hot, dead, hyperactive, confused, diabetic, allergic to nuts, deaf, blind, demonic, confused, bored, scared, wet, gassy, crampy, pregnant, worried about getting a job, worried about finding a girlfriend, tense, wanting tummy time, wanting back time, wanting hammer time, wanting more allowance, or suffering from an enlarged prostate.

Sound appealing to you? Then get with the program that's been helping people not rest for literally decades, maybe longer!! Trust me, you'll have no regrets at all (maybe)!!