This would make for some hiLARious Kleenex and toilet paper.

hopefully it's a zombie spunking in a kleenex

I'd bring a box of Kleenex to be autographed by all the lovely ladies.

I'm not sure how you see yourself as any less dogmatic than I am..and Im sorry for making you sad. I hope that you haven't wasted too many kleenexs on me, but save them for yourself..you'll need them when you figure out evolution is wrong.

Here is the key portion of your wiki article:

"Ideally, this list would only recursively include 'true' transitionals, fossils representing ancestral specie from which later groups evolved, but most, if not all, of the fossils shown here represent extinct side branches, more or less closely related to the true ancestor"

What we see in the fossil record is that when something new shows up its all at once and is fully formed and then never changes. Ie, no true transitionals have ever been discovered. What has never been witnessed in the fossil record is steady progressive change of one kind of thing into something completely different.

You think this is a gap? It's a super massive black hole, and the vacuum may be in your head if you believe it. Here's some info:

John Bonner, a biologist at Princeton, writes that traditional textbook discussions of ancestral descent are "a festering mass of unsupported assertions." In recent years, paleontologists have retreated from simple connect-the-dot scenarios linking earlier and later species. Instead of ladders, they now talk of bushes. What we see in the fossils, according to this view, are only the twigs, the final end-products of evolution, while the key transitional forms which would give a clue about the origin of major animal groups remain completely hidden.

The blank spots on evolutionary "tree" charts occur at just the points where, according to Darwin's theory, the crucial changes had to take place. The direct ancestors of all the major orders: primates, carnivores, and so forth are completely missing. There is no fossil evidence for a "grandparent" of the monkey, for example. "Modern gorillas, orangutans, and chimpanzees spring out of nowhere," writes paleontologist Donald Johansen. "They are here today; they have no yesterday." The same is true of giraffes, elephants, wolves, and all species; they all simply burst upon the scene de novo [anew], as it were.

I think you're the one who needs to re-evaluate your beliefs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6EiN-3uWak




>> ^Skeeve:
>> ^shinyblurry:
the bar is still incredibly low..one of the best transitional forms out there is based on a whales nostril..i would find that embarassing if i believed in evolution. show me something convincing. also, give me an example of mutation that increases information in a genome while you're at it.
You've said that you aren't ignorant of science, yet you ignore the science that proves these things. You, and people like you, are not really interested in the facts, you are interested in finding all the gaps so you can point and say "aha, there is a god!" I am truly saddened by people like you - it breaks my heart that you can be so smart and so blind at the same time.
But you asked for yet more proof so I am at your service.
A (comparatively) short list of transitional forms: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_transitional_fossils
As for the claim that mutations not increasing information in a genome:
"We have observed the evolution of
increased genetic variety in a population (Lenski 1995; Lenski et al. 1991)
increased genetic material (Alves et al. 2001; Brown et al. 1998; Hughes and Friedman 2003; Lynch and Conery 2000; Ohta 2003)
novel genetic material (Knox et al. 1996; Park et al. 1996)
novel genetically-regulated abilities (Prijambada et al. 1995)
If these do not qualify as information, then nothing about information is relevant to evolution in the first place."
You can look up those scholarly articles if you actually don't want to remain ignorant. They are listed here: http://www.talkorigins.org/indexcc/CB/CB102.html

Gotta strike while the iron is hot, get this kid in a commercial for Kleenex or Claritin or something. Next week, none of us will have any recollection of this baby. Today though, he's a star.

Kleenex ought to use this wanktastic masterpiece as a commercial.

Ha, nice. I'd watch it, I really would. No need for an explanation of the sudden onset of lethal sneezing, just keeping it mysterious to leave room for the sequel. Claritin can fund production and marketing, with Kleenex picking up merchandising costs.

I don't think it was supposed to. The visuals were great though.>> ^gorillaman:

For me, this video doesn't add anything to the original essay.

>> ^moonsammy:

I think they might owe Kevin Smith partial credit for that "move your head" moment towards the end. Couldn't find the relevant Mallrats clip online, but it's basically Jason Lee's character discussing why Superman would need to have a super girlfriend for exactly that reason.


Concept waaaaay predates Kevin Smith. Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex, by Larry Niven.

Somebody get this guy a kleenex, a rag, or an old gym sock!

(Man, these are easy...and fun!)

Well dip me in owl-shit and call me a porcupine....

There's always next year, RS.

Why don't you go have a few fish tacos and some tequila....



In reply to this comment by rottenseed:
god im so mad I could rape a chicken

In reply to this comment by rougy:
Wow, the um...New York Jets are playing the, um...Something Something Chargers tomorrow.

Have the container ships from China arrived yet with the kleenex?

Wow, the um...New York Jets are playing the, um...Something Something Chargers tomorrow.

Have the container ships from China arrived yet with the kleenex?

those last few frames was him saluting, i presume, her fathers grave. Honorable indeed.

Damnit now *I* need a kleenex

Want some candy little girl?


In reply to this comment by rottenseed:
What kind of creepy internet stalker tries to dig up dirt on a person by diligently parsing through thousands of comments? Look, I'm flattered and all but seeing as how you're probably a 46 year old balding man, and I'm probably a 13 year old school boy, I'd recommend avoiding the inevitable confrontation with Chris Hansen and stick to drugging men in bars and having puppet shows with their penises if I were you.

...and that's how you do a run-on sentence

In reply to this comment by inflatablevagina:
marshall is a totally faggy name.
What self respecting Puerto Rican Jew is named Marshall?
Oh...wait.... nevermind... self respecting...ha.. i kill me.

In reply to this comment by rottenseed:
Not that anybody cares but I'm bored at work sooooooo...

What up playas and hustlas my REAL name is Marshall, aka Marsh E. Fresh and I live in Pacific Beach, CA. I am 25 and I work full time as a project manager for a commercial construction contractor. By night I am a college student aspiring towards a mechanical engineering degree. It's slow going with the full time job and all but it keeps me out of trouble. I've got no kids that I know of, however, I donate sperm every day (let me know if you see a child that looks half-kleenex, half human). I have an awesome beard.

I love the sift because it's full of people smarter than myself that I can learn from, then turn around and mutilate what I've learned while bestowing the knowledge upon somebody else. It's a great atmosphere here and as you've probably noticed I try not to take many things seriously. I hope to never grow up (except when it comes to that baby-dick issue I've got).

vote for Kulpims video (I know I'm a whore)

What kind of creepy internet stalker tries to dig up dirt on a person by diligently parsing through thousands of comments? Look, I'm flattered and all but seeing as how you're probably a 46 year old balding man, and I'm probably a 13 year old school boy, I'd recommend avoiding the inevitable confrontation with Chris Hansen and stick to drugging men in bars and having puppet shows with their penises if I were you.

...and that's how you do a run-on sentence

In reply to this comment by inflatablevagina:
marshall is a totally faggy name.
What self respecting Puerto Rican Jew is named Marshall?
Oh...wait.... nevermind... self respecting...ha.. i kill me.

In reply to this comment by rottenseed:
Not that anybody cares but I'm bored at work sooooooo...

What up playas and hustlas my REAL name is Marshall, aka Marsh E. Fresh and I live in Pacific Beach, CA. I am 25 and I work full time as a project manager for a commercial construction contractor. By night I am a college student aspiring towards a mechanical engineering degree. It's slow going with the full time job and all but it keeps me out of trouble. I've got no kids that I know of, however, I donate sperm every day (let me know if you see a child that looks half-kleenex, half human). I have an awesome beard.

I love the sift because it's full of people smarter than myself that I can learn from, then turn around and mutilate what I've learned while bestowing the knowledge upon somebody else. It's a great atmosphere here and as you've probably noticed I try not to take many things seriously. I hope to never grow up (except when it comes to that baby-dick issue I've got).

vote for Kulpims video (I know I'm a whore)