The so-called “internet of things” is a hellscape of poorly manufactured, wifi-enabled gadgets, most of which contain subscription fees and dubious improvements over their less “smart” counterparts. Nobody ever wanted a tablet connected to a refrigerator, but now we have it, and it sucks.

A lot of these devices, like the Juicero juicer, the Smalt salt shaker, and even the Bodega vending machine, have been paraded around in the past year or so as emblematic of Silicon Valley hubris, as if they can package any preexisting service or contraption in a chic new minimalist backdrop and subsequently “disrupt” an industry.