BSR

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Member Since: December 29, 2012
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newtboy says...

That's some good groking....thou art god.

BSR said:

I remember my "judgement day." Greif.

I discovered for myself that I, unknowingly, had written my own bible. I created all the rules that I thought I should hold dear. Little did I know that one day I would be judged by own bible.

Then I lost someone I loved. I became suicidal. I could not bear the loss and the pain.

My plan was to drive head on into a semi truck, thinking that hopefully the driver would survive somehow. I drove back and forth on the highway I picked to end my life.

I imagined what the crash would be like and who it would affect. Then I pictured something that stalled my plan.

Upon crashing into the truck I envisioned the people I love being crushed and dismembered in slow motion. My parents, siblings, friends, as though they were in the car with me.

In my death I would be the only survivor.

I had destroyed the world. With a single bullet, I could have destroyed the world. To me, that meant one thing. If I had the power to destroy the world, then I must have the power to save it. The only thing standing in my way was the bible I wrote for myself. Forgiving others was the easy part.

Forgiving myself was not so easy.

The very thing that almost killed me was now the thing I had to believe in.

Love.

Pure. Simple. Without demands or conditions.

Every human needs love. "There lies the rub."

I snatched the pebbles from the Master's hand. It was time for me to leave.

God was no different than great works of art, music, poetry.

If there is a God, it must be me because I now have the only power God ever had.

Love.

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