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The Watermelon Joke That Saved Me After I Got Pulled Over

luxintenebris jokingly says...

moonsammy: great take. thumbs-up! crystalized my thoughts exactly!*

a couple of rules of comedy are 'know your audience' and [the joke] 'it has to be funny'. if there is no laugh, either you told it wrong, told it to the wrong person, or your wrong about it being funny. your audience is the final judge. not their duty to laff at your doody joke.

stukafox: okay [btw: the watermelon joke is very old] but not going w/the worst or nastiest, just with a few of old risqué ones.

novice is riding back to the convent w/the mother superior on their bicycles through the medieval section of the town. mother superior tells the novice "let's cut through this alleyway". the alley is long, rough and bumpy but the novice agrees. when they get back on the regular route the novice says, "that was new! I've never come that way before!" mother superior says, "it's the cobblestones."

a woman notices her neighbor's tomatoes are fully ripening while her's are still green. she asks him "how do you get your tomatoes to ripen so quickly?" he tells her, "I get up around dawn while I'm still in my bathrobe and open it and flash them. they get so embarrassed they turn red." women tells him she's going to try it but later in the evening. the next day, the neighbor sees the woman and asks "so? did it work?" the woman turns to tell him, "no. it didn't - but YOU SHOULD SEE MY CUCUMBERS!

an old woman was talking w/her younger friend. old woman tells her about some of the older woman in town. "oh! don't let them fool you! they were pretty wild in their day! " then she went on and listed all the men a trio of sisters went through and each tête à tête they had. the list was shockingly impressive enough that the younger woman said, "gee...maybe they couldn't help themselves...maybe they suffered from a hereditary disease?" the old woman cocks her head back and eyes the younger woman then says, "hereditary? hell! yes! it was! it was IN THEIR JEANS!!!"



*david letterman

It's impolite to kiss and tell | Letterkenny

oritteropo (Member Profile)

newtboy says...

I tried lemons in the ground here....it lived almost 3 years, but never had a lemon.
I have peach, nectarine, and plumbs in 1/2 barrels now, doing OK, but the peach and nectarine could use more room, they're both around 8-10 ft tall. The nectarines might need more cold than we get to bear fruit, but it's happy so far a year in.
I also started a trio of Asian pears in a 1/2 barrel about 10 years back, twisted together in a spiral, then planted the whole thing a few years ago, barrel and all (with the bottom pulled out). A year later I pulled all the staves and hoops up and it's been pretty happy ever since. I've had hit and miss luck just planting smaller trees directly in our ground, so I try to get the trees pretty established these days before putting them out.
If I try an orange tree, I'll probably put it in a 40 gallon pot (I like the air pots now over 1/2 barrels, they seem to make a difference in growth speed and are far cheaper) and move it inside during winter for at least the first 4-5 years, and definitely bonsai it to keep it around 8 ft.
I have a small orchard of apple trees now....around 30, and a few other fruits. At least I know they do great in our climate.

EDIT: We have had years with over a week at 20°F in the past, so I'll definitely have to cover an orange tree at times once I put it outside. If I keep it small, no problem.

oritteropo said:

It sounds like you'd be just about OK to plant a tree in the ground outside. The (U.S. based) article I found on temperatures said more than 10 hours below 25°F would kill one. I think we might occasionally get to -3°C here for one to two hours before sunrise at mid winter in a cold year, but it's really only cold enough here to kill chillies and coriander from frost, not trees.

I have a lemon tree in a large pot, and have only ever had one small lemon from it... although that's partly from the annoying gall wasps we have here If you want normal sized oranges you'll need to plant a tree outside. They grow to about 5 metres (uhm, 15 feet maybe?) if you don't prune them (but you should).

Classical Pianist Plays Tetris Theme On Custom Arcade Piano

oritteropo says...

Before it was the Tetris theme, Korobeiniki was a Russian folk song about a Peddler and a girl. I posted a version with lyrics as a comment to the first related link here:

*related=http://videosift.com/video/Olavsky-Korobeiniki-Tetris-Theme
*related=http://videosift.com/video/Tetris-Korobeiniki-Trio-Moscow-Nights-Russian-Folk-song

Classical Pianist Plays Tetris Theme On Custom Arcade Piano

Moon Hooch: NPR Music Tiny Desk Concert

Google Search Bot v3.3.1 - Best SEO Tool Ever!

oritteropo (Member Profile)

Rush ~ Subdivisions

Metal Head Kids from Hip Hop Neighborhood Tell Their Story

What has UsesProzac been up to? (Blog Entry by UsesProzac)

UsesProzac says...

@choggie, it's an established trio, sax, drums, and a keyboardist that plays left hand bass. He has a Korg X50 mounted above his Korg SV1 that he's layered five bass sounds together on to make a really impressive sound.

I can't match that, so I'm going to play the upright while he plays the bass still in his spot where he sets up.

I started working on A Moment's Notice, as well.

Cooking Channel Contest (Food Talk Post)

chingalera says...

Final Update:

There are 3 contestants for our recipe contest, one by the way which was butt-stupid easy to enter and win, so reflects the confidence of our trio of takers, pumpkinandstorm, dystopianfuturetoday, and sheppard.

P&S has offered-up another recipe which I chose over the one already listed here:
To follow are the 3 recipes I shall replicate and somewhat summarily present for judgement to a neutral third-party judge, whose culinary judgement I trust impeccably due his years of discipline and dedication to all things gustatory. Plus, he's brutally honest, like I aspire to be.

kulpims (Member Profile)

Charlie Hunter trio - Come as you are [live Nirvana cover]

Worst Instrument Ever Conceived



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