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Weekend Update: Christmas Joke Swap 2023 - SNL

cloudballoon says...

I mean... Jost's been living under police (or Black Widow) protection for years since Che's been owning him every Joke Swap. It's something that need not be said anymore.

This is the first time Che's in sweating territory though. From just 3 words! That's a credit to Jost. I think Jost did better this year than any others, even though he still couldn't beat Che (a foregone conclusion).

The fake poet/activist black lady move is genius on Che's part, there's just no win for Jost, and her no contact with Jost is just pure humiliation from beginning to end.

newtboy said:

Che!?!
I’m pretty sure it’s Jost that’s left with no safe harbor here!

Weekend Update: Christmas Joke Swap 2023 - SNL

Hottest compilation on Pornhub right now #dailyshow

noims says...

Personally I'm not going to lie back in contentment until the fucker pays. I wanna see the money shot and watch him collapse, weak and sweating, at which point we can all just turn off the screen and get back to our lives.

Maybe that's just me fantasising. I wouldn't be at all surprised if it was all cut short due to a paywall.

Tyre Nichols Beaten To Death By 5 Cops

newtboy says...

Initial arrest report coming out…they claimed he was an aggravated assault suspect (not true), was sweating profusely and irate when exiting the car (not true), grabbed detective Martin’s gun (not true-yet Martin is listed as “victim” on the report), and pulled on other officers gun belts (also not true).
No mention of any punching or kicking of Nichols.
Also turns out one officer involved on scene was the official supervisor on duty and he signed off on that report.
I hope they all get life in gen pop.

BSR (Member Profile)

lucky760 says...

Nope, never seen such a bizarre thing!

I guess siftbot REALLY wanted to give you a birthday present. 😅

BSR said:

Thanks lucky. That was really strange. Ever had that happen before? Thanks for "putting the fire out" anyway.

Arrest In Break-In At Democrat Hobbs' Campaign Headquarters

newtboy says...

Bob- “Derp….that news outlet isn’t in the Trump cult, so I can’t listen. FAKE NEWS!”

https://www.fox10phoenix.com/news/2022-election-hobbs-campaign-confirms-break-in-at-phoenix-headquarters

Now what?

You don’t burglarize a campaign headquarters for cash or food, all they have there of value is campaign materials, you only do it for political motivations. Even a sub 75 iq individual like yourself knows that.

Joe wiped the floor with tiny dick energy Insecure Don from that basement without breaking a sweat.
Lake told her crowd to go ask their little kids if Trump has big dick energy (they all said no)….party of debauchery, grooming your own children to be Trump’s next…he doesn’t have Epstien or Maxwell around to get more little girls for him, now he needs Lake.

Now, how about Ashley Babbitt….she sure did ask for it, didn’t she?

bobknight33 said:

"It’s possible, but highly unlikely, that Carrie Lake or her campaign is not involved…it’s not possible that it’s not politically motivated."

Such biased speculation. Oh wait this is a fake news outlet

Hobbs is a failed canidate ,, Like Joe she hides in the basement

Smoke Shop Robbery, Las Vegas - Robber Stabbed

newtboy says...

There was more than enough time to bleed through from 7 stab wounds before he dumped him on the floor, imo. I was shocked the store owner wasn’t drenched in blood by then, but I see none at all. I just find that odd, I bleed like a water balloon if you stick me.
I also found it insane the thief didn’t seem to react to the first 4-5 stabs at all, he fought back like nothing happened at first, another reason I assumed they maybe didn’t penetrate. The last two sure did, but even the knife still looked clean coming out. WTF!? Super blood absorbing sweat shirt?

I think the owner, if charged, will go for a jury trial and be acquitted….or might take a no prison plea deal if it’s good enough. I can’t see getting a conviction in Nevada for this, unless he hires Amber Heard or Alex Jones’ lawyers. In Florida, he wouldn’t get a ticket. I doubt he’ll see jail, possibly a fine and huge civil suit. Hope he has good insurance.

Edit: I just found this piece about this robbery victim shooting a disarmed robber in the back, eventually killing him, who wasn’t charged. I think the smoke shop owner was more restrained and hope he isn’t charged either.



? Inviting him back in? What? When? They never left. I don’t think he’s claiming these were the same robbers that robbed him earlier that month, if that’s what you mean.

Edit: I do love the prominent cross on the one robber’s neck. This is what people mean when they say “I’m a Christian, I would never do something like that.”

BSR said:

I don't think the blood had time to penetrate the clothing he was wearing. I also believe each strike penetrated pretty well with the force he was using. I also think the owner is going to see some jail time.

The owner wanted the altercation by inviting the robber back into the store so he could get revenge.

newtboy (Member Profile)

lucky760 says...

You're still playing it?!

Awesome my friend. Thanks so much for the feedback!

It's become a bit of a burden because I still manually create every puzzle, so every night near midnight I start frantically trying to get the next puzzle ready.

😅

newtboy said:

Still loving phrasle. Just some positive feedback.

Joe Biden story

newtboy says...

This is yor man? 😂



Our man handed your man his hat without breaking a sweat…saving the nation from utter disaster, keeping America democratic. He’s been a massive success compared to your man…gdp from -3.5% to almost 6% in one year, a 9.5% improvement!…also the fastest employment gains ever….he doesn’t even have 35 credible women accusing him of rape, nor a decades long history of partying with the worst pedophile in American history and underage girls.

bobknight33 said:

This is you man?

Pilot Makes Emergency Landing on Busy Highway

luxintenebris says...

just seeing the plane pass under those lines produced a gasp.

rode with a crop-dusting pilot when they decided to 'buzz' fellow co-workers in a field. almost forgot about the wires at the end of the field.

the flashback was chilling.

but reading your story [damn shame] produced sweating to even things out.

jimnms said:

[edited for space] For one, power lines tend to cross paved roads and by the time you can see them, it's too late to avoid them.

Americans Tell NBC, “Blown Away” By Bidenflation,

newtboy says...

I do….and I can list reasons why I think what I think, unlike yourself who is embarrassed to admit you never actually think yourself and all your arguments come from disgraced and debunked liars who’s jobs are to lie, almost exclusively when it comes to any political topic.

The ship only turns so fast. It needed SO much correction on SO many issues because the last demander in chief refused to steer the nation anywhere but into a reef for the last entire year of his term….the last 3 months totally intentionally while he drilled holes in the keel and cut holes in the sails.

The nation certainly needed serious and immediate correction. Glad to hear you admit it, even accidentally.
You’re complaining about more spending!? You must be joking! Compared to spendthrift Trump, he’s a fucking miser. Every major project he’s put forward has been paid for in the bill, not so with the last administration that thought they couldn’t overspend because they can print more money….the biggest deficit and fastest debt rise (both by dollar and percentage) EVER by a mile. And put us in a recession with high inflation, negative GDP, outrageous unemployment, and near a million dead for the privilege. Joe invested in American infrastructure. Complaining about spending will not be tolerated from you after supporting Trump. Not for a second, you unbelievable hypocrite.

He did many things, leading to a healthy economy and amazing jobs numbers and rising wages among other improvements. All work against inflation.

But you like to say he’s done nothing, so how’s 4 examples on the Afghanistan disaster alone work for you?
He negotiated 6 more months to be gone.
He evacuated any and all Americans that wanted out, including those that waited until the last day.
He set up and staffed new systems (granted too little and late) to assist Afghans that worked for us in getting at least refugee status if not visas. This should have been step 1 in February 2020….likely a big surprise to find nothing started or planned when Joe took office.
He pulled out billions worth of functioning, still owned by America weaponry (what you love to whine about is the weapons in Afghani’s hands, and decommissioned often scuttled vehicles we abandoned….yes, a waste) that before he took office were being left in country.
Simply put, he made a plan and implemented it, can’t say the same for his predecessor. It wasn’t perfect, but it was something….which is a massive improvement.

He’s a mile above the low bar set by your idol, who spent nearly a full 1/3 of his presidency off playing golf (after promising not to play at all), and >1/2 of every day on personal executive time eating junk food and watching TV (but only ever taking softball questions from far right outlets, refusing any non right wing reporters a question much less interview). The remaining 1/6 was largely filled with rage tweeting and executive toilet time (pooping or shredding, you choose).

Your position is old, dementia ridden, no leadership, no question taking, slow, incapable of speaking or thinking, doesn’t know who or where he is Joe kicked fat lazy dumb Don’s ass without even holding rallies, did it in his pjs without breaking a sweat or raising his voice. Odd you love to constantly degrade the guy who’s by every measure head and shoulders above your messiah and proved it by a historic landslide. Seems you wouldn’t want to keep putting Trump down as a massive total loser to such a sad, weak, incompetent opponent, but you gotta be you.

bobknight33 said:

If you think this is Trumps fault, think what you want?

But
This is on Biden, commander in chief. It is his job to steer the ship. To correct the direction of the nation.
What has he done to correct this? NOTHING, except more spending , making this worse.

Biden use by date has long expired. He has no leadership ability, He cant take questions He is kept from media and public for fear on looking tool old and too slow and unable to speak intellectually. His days are in the past.

Daily Dose of Internet - What Your Sweat Looks Like Up Close

New Zealand PSA - Trade School

How one little boat (and me) held up miles of London traffic

StukaFox says...

In Seattle, there's a shipping canal that cuts through the Ballard, Fremont and University districts, each spanned by a single drawbridge, any of which MUST be opened if ANY boat traffic requests it. There's a time between 4pm - 6pm where they won't open the bridge, but one minute after 6, if you're not across you just turn off your engine and watch every entitled prick in the PNW putt their boat down the canal. Bridge opens, 10 minutes pass, bridge closes again. All along the canal. Backing traffic up to the fucking moon and it takes about 15 minutes to clear. Which works out wonderfully because the bridge often has to open 10 minutes after it just closed. At first, it's a novelty to see the bridge open. Then it's meh. Then it's the bane of your fucking existence. You start to whimper and sweat when you hear the two-minute horn and the ding-ding-ding of the gates coming down. Then come sthe white-hot fury directed at anyone who has the gall to come down the canal at exactly 6:00:01 and block traffic for the next 47 years. Hate. Hate. HATE!!!

The NOAA ships, mega-yachts and ships going to the yards are kind cool, 'tho.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!

bobknight33 (Member Profile)

newtboy says...

Sorry, I forgot facts are just for liberals.
Snopes isn't perfect but they're head and shoulders and chest and waist and knees and ankles and feet above ANY source you've provided over the years, you are often directly quoting Russian propaganda. They are also far from the only fact checker that says the same thing, along with dozens of articles throughout his career with the exact same story, and books written about it for decades, and even recent awards from the stuttering community/organizations...but you know better because why? Did Alex Jones say so? Glen Beck? Diaper Don?
Here's a few dozen reports, some from right wing media, about Biden's stutter....I'm sure you won't or can't read them. Easy to find, just Google Biden's speech impediment....but I saved you the trouble of spelling it....
http://www.google.com/search?q=History+of+Biden%27s+speech+impediment.&source=hp&oq=History+of+Biden%27s+speech+impediment.&gs_l=mobile-heirloom-hp.3.
..3514.18619.0.19028.31.28.0.3.3.0.256.4264.0j24j4.28.0....0...1c.1j4.34.mobile-heirloom-hp..12.19.2638.G_u9HmUbuck

Being able to overcome it at times doesn't mean it doesn't exist....if it does then his exemplary performance and coherent speeches since taking office proves you wrong 100+ times over....but your guy thinks you should inject bleach to fight a virus he says is a hoax, you believe in Jewish space lasers, Italian vote changing satellites, and age defying magic from cannibalism. Who's too old and feeble minded? I think we know the answer, Jethro. Where did you get your degree in diagnosing cognitive decline? You need to sue them, you learned nothing.
He's said clearly for decades that, like many, his stutter gets much worse when he's tired and under stress. That's totally normal with stuttering.

Trump, on the other hand, has no such excuse for his inability to speak or write in complete thoughts or sentences or even English words...covfefe! Oranges of the investigation. Oranges. Oranges. Mumerca!

Biden is clearly not too old to kick diaper Donny's ass without breaking a sweat, and is in excellent shape for his age, you can't say that about obese Trump. He is older than I would prefer, that's different from being too old to hold office....isn't he younger than Trump would be in 4 years? So if Biden is too old now, Trump was too old to elect. Do you know that's what you're saying?

bobknight33 said:

You using Snopes as a fact checker is rich.

Claim
U.S. President Joe Biden has a speech impediment.

False. No speech impediment just too old.


No speech impediment in 1993. 12 minutes of pure coherent speech .
Maybe as a kid but not by 1993.
2021 Must be to old feeble to speak with out bumbling/ stumbling.

Just admit Biden is too old to be POTUS. Grandpa Joe will be gone soon and the unpopular VP will take over. Yet a bigger joke.




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