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Bahfest: stupidity is a smart move

Chinese People Try Panda Express For The First Time

poolcleaner says...

I married into an Asian family that run restaurants, are professional bakers, and wow, even the bad cooks can kick my ass in the kitchen. No one I've spoken to in her family has a problem with Panda Express style food ON OCCASION because the horse it's really high but it's so much more comfortable just enjoying food. Go eat a goddamn big mac, but before you take your first bite SAY OUT LOUD, "I'm just a dumb slut living on the planet earth. Eat fuck and shit motherfucker" and then eat the frelling burger. Frack you. It's good, bitch. Just stop lying to yourself, you food slut

And drink a Pabst. Hey. Asshole! Yeah YOU. Not me i know me bad but u worse so you, this I say: Go buy a 6 pack of non-lite budweiser, smoke some shitty weed out of an apple, and proclaim to the sky and no one in particular -- FUCK MY TRADITIONS AND FUCK MY AFFILIATIONS -- I will eat anything that my SLUT taste buds will enjoy. My brain may proclaim "But people and science says" -- SCIENCE and PEOPLE aren't your taste buds, bud(ette). Stop thinking what can create competition and power, the red queen effect its EVERYWHERE. When you think you're making conscious choices about your perception of food matter reacting with your taste buds, in reality your brain is making complex judgements on the world around it, cut throat and always seeking gain. You will seem to just "know" your tastes. Liar. You're competing with your surroundings. Points within time and space colliding and reacting. You don't know the difference between a tastey butt hole and the centerfold back cover of a Mad magazine.

Ok, but, don't always not think. Sometimes you must think and get vaccines and stuff. Do that. Eat orange chicken. Smoke weed. Drink a steel reserve once a month. Then go to a grocery store, buy a bunch of meat and vegetables, and FUCKING COOK BITCH. That's really the only lesson.

Cats are bullies (or dogs are overprotected wimps) mashup

poolcleaner says...

Observations of the so-called red queen effect reveal that competing entities which are at a disadvantage have a tendency to outperform those which are perceptively higher on the food chain, because they're smaller or weaker or have less advantage, creates the necessity to work harder. Like an Asian family that moves into a white/black neighborhood and pwns the local businesses.

Intelligent cow knows how to use a hand pump to draw water

poolcleaner says...

Red queen effect: Parasitic humans feed off of the cow, steals the natural flowing water and installs human-centric water holes. In competition with the human parasite the cow is forced to learn to use the water pump. And thus the arms race between cow and human.

Who will win?

My money is that humans destroy themselves and cow survives, finally free of it's parasitic relationship with the upright mammals. They then go on to evolve into upright cow people. Only to encounter the humans again.

They then join with the radioactive green humans (nuclear fallout survivors) and zombie humans (the ones that didn't survive the fallout but were taken over by parasites of their own) to kill the humans, many of whom are dwarves and really small midgets.

Some hippies that bonded with trees are found to have survived, each with their own vision of what it is to be a tree hugger. Some of them join the humans (with their now dominant midget genes) and some of them join the green humans and cow people.

Along the way we discover that in China pandas have evolved into panda people and all along there were werewolves and shit. Including dimensions made entirely of fire with slimes that thrive off of radiation, only to become what is perceived as fire elementals and H.P. Lovecraft's things were real too. Oh and the entire pantheon of all people from all of time.

Society rebuilds itself but war never changes.

Jefferson Airplane - White Rabbit

Eklek says...

*drugs
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Rabbit_(song)


One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you, don't do anything at all

Go ask Alice, when she's ten feet tall

And if you go chasing rabbits, and you know you're going to fall
Tell 'em a hookah-smoking caterpillar has given you the call

And call Alice, when she was just small

When the men on the chessboard get up and tell you where to go
And you've just had some kind of mushroom, and your mind is moving low

Go ask Alice, I think she'll know

When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead
And the white knight is talking backwards
And the red queen's off with her head
Remember what the dormouse said
Feed your head, feed your head

Alice On The Wall - Run Like Hell

Memorare says...

pfft Lewis Carroll's dialogue between Alice and the Red Queen would have been far better than pink floyd.

"Now, here, you see,
it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place.
If you want to get somewhere else,
you must run at least twice as fast as that!"
-Red Queen to Alice

Darwins 150 yr old prediction finally comes true

RhesusMonk says...

>> ^rembar:
Food for thought from PZ Myers, with a healthy dose of criticism and contextual information.
Specifically, the interesting point to be made is that Darwin didn't simply predict that the length of the insect tongues would MATCH the orchid tubes, but rather that the orchids would be selected for longer tubes each generation (because the insects, now with slightly shorter tubes, would be forced to press up against the flower to get the nectar and thus would receive pollen all over their bodies that would then be spread by the insects), and the insects would be selected for longer tongues in order to reach across the ever-increasing distance.
It's somewhat of an arms race, in that the orchids benefit by the insects having to struggle to reach the nectar, and the insects benefit by having longer proboscises to not have to struggle to reach the nectar, leading to the development of very long tubes and tongues.


This arms race is termed the Red Queen effect after the race the eponymous character in Through the Looking Glass holds in which "it takes all the running you can do to keep in the same place." God, I love evolutionary science/scientists (you see what I did there, with the God and the evolution? funny stuff, huh?)

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