this reminds me a bit of that other film about a solitary, emotionally distant, laconic man who's good at fighting

Laconic, laid back, seemingly slow Henry Fonda said -- act fast.

This guy needs to follow Henry's advice.

I don't really like this guy a whole lot - his philosophy seems half-baked.

Maybe I just expected him to be more laconic and convincing under Colbert's scrutiny.

I like wikileaks tho

It's the whistling that made me upvote. That and the whole laconic feel. In other words, a masterpiece.

Gullible sifters! I could be the joseph fritzl of brazil and you´d be all gooey, "he is so nice."
I´d spit in your roast, but it would likely be enough to put off the roasting fire and you´d never figure out how to make the "magic heat that bites" again. Morons.

Now, mano a mano:

Laura, the BBQ Wolverine image you´ve posted is so bizarre it makes me want to roast myself. Better, to self-immolate. twice.

Thinker247, yeah two favorite memories. In your face, you who can only think of peggedbeas´s dry vagina, Dags waxworks and child molesting. No, that´s three memories. you win.

Blankfist you are a fake. We know you are the picture model for the goatsee and as such you never grunt when taking a dump. or even notice it.

Rougy, we may clean motels now, but we also invented them motels. We did. And your mother was there.

Inflatablevagina, you are so cute trying to be mean, I´ll help you out. Worse than pompous, both of my cats names are bad puns. (Meaow-Tse and the "Laconic" one who would only say "mee" instead of "meaow").So please execrate me as puns are humour´s low-life white trash cousins.

Ornothron, wow, now THERE is some research and effort! Congrats on the trainee who did your job. Having my fraudulent narcisistic ways exposed by a mechanical bird´s apprentice is the moon landing to my neil armstrong. And yes, it is excruciating reading through you people´s comments in order to find even one worth mentioning.

Gwiz, because you like futurama, I won´t mention your excessive concern about my body hair.

Therealblankman, except for choggie all roastees were chosen by god. So if you pray hard maybe He will listen to your high pitched whining.

Haldaug, yes, I masturbate to furry porn. but cmon, you and your wife are so hot!

Peggedbea, those were your titties covered in shit? No wonder it all seemed so normal I didn´t know the roast had even started.

kulpims, you can be the mother of my next daughter.

Choggie, when I said gullible sifters I meant you. Also you should know that when you scream fuck you we hear "good morning"

Don Juan, jump off the bridge, dont jump off the bridge, you guys please make up your mind already so i can mindlessly follow, wtf.

Dotdude, the only place I´d fear a candiru is inside my urethra, whereas spiders are scary everywhere. Also the Amazon River is closer geographically to your new orleans house than mine in sao paulo.

Rottenseed, after I wipe my tears I´ll tell you that at least (or even) blankfist know we speak portuguese, not spanish. And if I was fritzl dressed as santa you´d sit on my lap.

MrFisk, or should I say "imelda marcos", I may lure young single moms to my moms basement but you are the guy who marries them afterwards.

Lann, it was great that you put my two best memories together, thanks. Now someone explain to this "person" what is a roast.

So that is it.
Thanks for the roast, morons!

Now, Laura, you promissed I´d be tied up and filled with herbs.
never fail me again, ok?

and "Mr jester", these pitiful crowdlings dont have enough venom, so please make your dice choose easier prey for the next roast, such as Hitler
(Godwin´s law does not aplly here)

This is the kind of American evangilising I respect and enjoy: calm, powerful and laconically cuts through the bullshit.

I think HL has one of the most natural fits for a movie. It should definitely tell the story of Gordon Freeman, but make him a total cypher to start out, and have his character be truly blank and laconic. The biggest mistake they could make would be trying to round out his character by use of flashbacks or exposition. Even worse would be if they tried to tie Freeman's involvement with the Black Mesa incident to Freeman's own past before the incident. Like if they pulled a George Lucas and made it so that the G-Man knew Gordon Freeman's father, and Gordon had been subtly manipulated into a post-apocalyptic messiah since conception. That would be stupid, typical Hollywood not-getting-it.

From thesaurus.com:

abbreviate, abbreviated, aphoristic, bare, boiled down, breviloquent, brief, compendiary, compendious, compressed, concise, condensed, curtailed, curtate, cut short, cut to the bone, decreased, decurtate, diminished, epigrammatic, fleeting, in a nutshell, laconic, lessened, little, momentary, not protracted, pithy, pointed, precise, sententious, short and sweet*, shortened, short-lived, short-term, succinct, summarized, summary, terse, undersized, unprolonged, unsustained

I don't know how they will handle the laconic dialogue of Frank Miller's 300. It really depends on the actors. And that will ultimately make or break the movie.