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BSR (Member Profile)

BSR (Member Profile)

Cat defends itself from attacking Cobra

How robots could end animal captivity in zoos & marine parks

newtboy says...

Yes, that one, my mistake. Forgot to spell check.

You can still mess up big time in an electric car even without a gear box, just ask Richard Hammond! But I get you about removing all dangers….but give it time. Someone will hack those automa-lions and turn them into robo-murder-kitties. Asimov’s three laws aren’t real.

I would miss the deafening sounds and the smell of racing fuels too….but can’t we have both electric and fossil fuel races at the same venue if not in direct competition?

vil said:

Nurburgring?

I dont have anything against racing electric cars. I think the endeavour to create a mechanical dolphin is most noble. Its still about pushing the limits.

And yet I find the world where the lion tamer cannot step into the cage, the monkey cannot bite your finger off through the bars and you cannot miss a gear heading out of a corner somehow less worth living than the world of my childhood. Yes the smells too.

Maybe the bears are going to miss riding the motorcycle around the arena. Lions born in captivity would be cargo cultists if set free. Push a button to overtake. Sad.

Parrot Plays Peek-a-Boo with Neighbors Cat

Squirrel jumps on UPS delivery man

StukaFox says...

I gotta squirrel story.
So when I lived in Mountain View, for Christ only knows what reason, the idiots in charge of power put this big-ass transformer thing on the corner of my property. The thing hummed with menace and I knew that shit wasn't right. But I didn't worry none because there was a big green metal cover over it that provided the same protection against horrendous death that a box of Kleenex would have provided the World Trade Center on 9/11.
One day, I'm standing on my balcony and drinking a beer. I mighta been stoned, too, only there's no 'mighta' that day. I'm watching the whorehouse across the street (really) and generally buzzing when I see a squirrel on the lawn. I hate squirrels. A motherfucking squirrel ate my bar fridge and fucked me outta the $50 I was selling it for on Craigslist (really).
Anyway, I got this longneck of Bud in hand and I'm working out whether I can brain the goddamn rodent with it when the neighbor's cat come rippin' ass from under the balcony and goes after Skippy.
Well here's some amusement!
The squirrel is running for it's pointless life and the cat is banking like a F-16 chasing an Iraqi MIG and I've already got $10 down on the kitty with a $3 over/under. I already know how this was gonna end and I was rootin' for it every step of the way.
Only it didn't.
The goddamn squirrel found the ONE way to get under that green metal cover I mentioned previously. The cat stops in amazement and I'm all pissed because I've been gypped outta Wild Kingdom's money shot.
A second later there's a flash like Ivy Mike going off from under the cover and an a concussive BOOM!! The fucking cover blasts off like a Space-X project gone horribly wrong -- or, in this case, delightfully right.
The cat jumps like 5 feet in the air and an arc of turds flies outta its butt, the cover returns to earth as a traffic hazard in the middle of Latham St., and the squirrel is basically vaporized. And now I'm the happiest motherfucker in Mountain View because dude, that shit was AWESOME!
I call out, "Babe! You won't believe what just happened!" 'cause you gotta totally share shit like that.
Then I realized everything is TOTALLY silent, like Little House on the Fucking Prairie silent.
"The power's out," my wife responds.
And it STAYED out for like two goddamn days while the putzes from the power company had to rewire pretty much everything that blew up.
Honey Badger didn't give a shit because Honey Badger'd copped an oz right before this shit happened. And as Fat Freddy taught us, "Dope will get you through times of no power better than power will get you through times of no dope." Or some shit like that. I dunno, I'm totally fucking baked right now.

Piece of Bread falling over

StukaFox says...

Somebody made this. Someone said, "Y'know what the world needs in 2021? A piece of fucking bread falling over." They probably said this because they were stoned. Probably very stoned. Y'know, a stoner with an idea is something to be respected and feared at the same time. Every stoner is McGuyver when it comes to getting stoned. No pipe? We gotta apple. No apple? We gotta Coke can. No Coke can? "Here, kitty kitty kitty!"

People are all, "Yeah, stoners 'n' shit...", but do they know how much effort a stoner will expend to score a dimer on a Saturday night when The Wall starts at the midnights in 30 minutes? Heaven, Earth, heavy rocks, speed limits, moral certitudes -- nothing stands in the way iffin' you're dry when you should be high!

That's some tasty-ass lookin' bread, too. Bet that bitch would be primo with some peanut butter on it. Oh wait, cotton-mouth....uhh, let's go for Welch's Grape Jelly instead. Ohhhyeah, one bite of WGJ and you're back in the second grade where the days were infinite and all you had to do is play, knock out a couple of easy math problems, and not torment the cat too much.

Thank fucking Christ 2020 is over.

Playful Kitty Unleashes Fury on Owner's Foot

Mordhaus (Member Profile)

Mordhaus (Member Profile)

siftbot says...

Congratulations! Your video, Kung fu kitty, has reached the #1 spot in the current Top 15 New Videos listing. This is a very difficult thing to accomplish but you managed to pull it off. For your contribution you have been awarded 2 Power Points.

This achievement has earned you your "Golden One" Level 476 Badge!

Mordhaus (Member Profile)

Cat Thinks Long And Hard About It's Next Move

The Wicked Feline Murder Floof, a Yule Cat Story

Tiger chase down bikers



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