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Rent: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

fuzzyundies says...

I once got my life expectancy predicted by a witch doctor, on a hilltop in La Paz, Bolivia.

I'm actually planning on getting a tattoo on my ankle of my "expiration date" in the style of the old milk jugs.

BSR said:

My label has an expiration date which kinda defines me

Why it Probably Wasn’t Better Being Single

enoch says...

ah,the days of being in a relationship with a woman,who loved painkilllers with her jug wine.

who would wake me up in the dead of the night,using the super heated metal tops of a bic lighter on the bottom of my feet (those are called "smileys" for those who do not know) to scream at me about some girl who had the audacity to look my way at target,because 3:30am is the time to find out if i am having sexual thoughts about random women.

or an earlier girlfriend whose father was a prominent artist in the country and was holding a weekend jazz festival.i had a customer who had cerebal palsy,and one leg had been amputated,whose boyfriend had just broke up with her and she was a wreck.

so i had this bright idea! why doesn't this poor emotional wreck of a woman come to the jazz festival of my girlfriends dad? that will get her mind off things right?

but,having a second person accompany made me a little late.so when i finally showed up,my girlfriend was already half in the bag,and mad.i tried to explain and introduce her to mary,the heartbroken girl.

and my girlfriend broke my nose with a bottle of michelob.i do not think she cared that mary was heart broken,and an utter wreck in need of human company.i could be wrong,this is just a guess,but the bleeding from my broken nose may have been a strong indicator.

or how about the time i was counseling a long time friend,who had pulled a midnight move out to escape a man who had basically had her trapped in a spare room,chaining her to the wall.that man had gone as far as severing her achilles tendons,after her first attempt to escape,and this woman suffered from a severe case of PTSD.

now she did form an almost childlike bond to me.maybe because i had offered her the first taste of true compassion,and offered her safety and comfort,and allowed her to talk the poison and bile out that had been building inside her for over three years.

but her attachment to me,which was to be expected,was not viewed favorably by my girlfriend.i spent a lot of time and attention in drawing this broken and damaged young woman to feel safe,and to begin to feel human again(which infuriated my girlfriend).my patio was always filled with friends,artists and people of interest,and i did my best to bring a normalcy to this young womans life in order to help her acclimate,and to feel human again.

and my girlfriend would come home,get drunk,and start to whisper the most vile.and disgusting things..not about this young woman,but about me.

which,of course,if you understand the mentality of an abuse victim.especially one who had suffered such as she had.any criticism,or perceived threat to the person who had (in their mind) saved them,will create incredible anger and anxiety.

so because of my girlfriends irrational jealousy of this woman,and in her drunken selfishness,she went out of her way to make this woman feel as uncomfortable,and as unsafe (the exact opposite of what i was trying to do).so much so that the young woman...who didn't want to be a burden,or affect my life in a negative way...left my home,and wrote me she would never come back,because she loved me and didnt want to cause problems.

two weeks later she was found dead in motel room.over dose of piankiller and xanax...and wrists slashed to ribbons.

or how about the time one of my girlfriends broke three of my ribs,because i was being kind to a waitress?

or the time another girlfriend stabbed me,because while she was unhappy with our relationship,she could not abide me talking to anyone who owned a vagina.in this case a fellow artist i was collaborating with,and who happened to be not only an amazing human being but beautiful as well.

or that one time,when i broke up with a girl,because it simply was not working out and she repeatedly rammed her ford fairmont station wagon into my brand new firebird?

oh..the stories i can tell about all my wonderful relationships,and the women i have shared portions of my life with.i could write a book...

and then i watch this video,and i am overcome with an urge to drive cross country to the creators home,walk inside,grab him by the ankles and crag him outsides....and beat him senseless.

because he is coming from a false premise.
he is implying the that the benefits of relationships outweigh he selective memory our brains create when reliving our moments of singlehood.

when the reality is this:as long as you have friends,who love and accept you for who you are,you are never actually single.you are surrounded and loved by an extended family.

i do not need a girlfriend.
i do not want a girlfriend.
i am not interested in getting married.
and as i have revealed here,i would prefer some memories to remain buried under the much happier and adoring memories of my actual friends who put up with my eccentricities,and my overall oddness,rather than deal with a woman who is smitten with the ideas fed to them by institutions,and periodicals such as comsopolitian and vogue.

though,ironically,i have two ex girlfriends living in my home as i write this.
one is a former porn star,and current stripper who suffers from paranoid schizophrenia,and is a recovering addict.

while the other i had to go do a midnight rescue from a place where she was renting a room,but the house was junkie house,and she is a recovering addict as well (and they also kept stealing everything from her).she has bought a house,but it needs work and that work is taking fooooooorever.

and BOTH of these women still harbor some residual feelings towards me.even though i have been quite clear,open and honest that i have ZERO interest in rekindling anything,with either of them,but that hasn't stopped them from being all catty with each other,and causing drama,and complaining about the smallest,tiniest and most ridiculous of things to bitch about.

at first i tried to play referee.
i did my best to help everyone get along,until i realized they both had no interest in getting along.they wanted to outdo the other in order to get my attention.

which is just.....dumb..but anyways,my new way of handling their insipid complaints is always this response:i don't care.

and it seems to work beautifully.

so there you have my story,or at least part of it.
and i have to say...this guy is kinda full of shit.

for those of you happily married,with a great partner,i salute you.good for you,and i mean that.

but for me?
no thanks.i am good.

How to Pass Your Next Science Project

newtboy jokingly says...

I'm not sure what he's talking about.
I got an 'A' on my 30 second science project...jug of fire. I took a glass jug, poured in some rubbing alcohol, and lit it on fire. The teacher liked it so much he gave me ether to try in it....I would not suggest repeating that experiment.

Fairbs (Member Profile)

bremnet says...

Howdy - sorry for the delay, was traveling on business. The issue you are referring to below with regards to reusable water bottles is I believe related to the type of liner (thin coating of polymer based material that is coated on the inside of some but not all of these bottles). In most cases when polymers come in contact with food (incl. water) the concerns are usually not in the polymer itself, but in some of the additives (processing aids, plasticizers, anti-oxidants, UV stabilizers, pigments etc) that in some cases have negative impacts on some human metabolic processes. I would emphasize 'some'. The recent outrage over BPA is not supported unequivocally by scientific evidence, but there is enough uncertainty to move away from it as a plasticizer in PET bottles. If one was to use a food grade polyethylene or polypropylene water bottle, requiring no liner, and totally suitable as a water bottle, then there is no concern at all with the long term use of this material in water bottles. Next time you go through the grocery store, have a look at all the packaging - films on processed meets, stretch wrap on fresh meat cuts, all of your cold dairy products - the vast majority of these are made from one of either polyethylene or polypropylene, with a smattering of polystyrene and polyvinylidene chloride thrown in. All perfectly safe.

As for how the balls are made - these are blow molded. If you have a look at the plastic baseballs made for kids that come with a big fat plastic bat (or really any hard plastic ball that you might find at Wal Mart or Toys'R'Us, you'll see the small ridge that runs equatorially around the circumference of the ball (that's the parting line where the two mold halves come together) and somewhere on that line there will be either a little tiny hole or a small protruding knob that used to be the parison where the air was injected into the small plastic glob forcing it to the walls of the mold like an expanding balloon. This is the same type of molding that makes your liquid dishwashing detergent bottle, plastic ketchup and mustard containers, and plastic milk jugs. Hope this helps a bit. cheers

Fairbs said:

I admit this is something I know little about so I have a couple of questions if you don't mind... There seems to be a concern about what reusable water bottles are made of. So you're supposed to use a certain type or the plastic (and this may be the wrong term) leeches into your water and then I don't know exactly what, but you probably die some horrible death maybe like in the toxic avenger. So one question is... Is that true (or maybe a less exaggerated version)? The second one I think you may have answered is... Are these injection molded? I can't comprehend how these would be made. I think I need a How it's Made to wrap my mind around this. Thanks.

nock (Member Profile)

Preservation - People Being Covered in Gallons of Honey

Grimm says...

900 5lb jugs about a quart each. Still a lot but a fraction of what you said.

I'm guessing they recaptured and reused the honey for each individual shoot...just not for the next shoot.

Fairbs said:

900 five gallon jugs. I don't understand why they wouldn't recapture and reuse the honey. What a waste of money and honey.

And it's a bit ironic that they call the show 'Preservation'.

Preservation - People Being Covered in Gallons of Honey

Fairbs says...

900 five gallon jugs. I don't understand why they wouldn't recapture and reuse the honey. What a waste of money and honey.

And it's a bit ironic that they call the show 'Preservation'.

So combat juggling is a thing

Bluegrass Folk Cover of AC/DC’s ‘Thunderstruck’

Superhydrophobic Liquid Repellant Demonstration

Trancecoach says...

Saw this on Junkee:

"“I am so sick of my T-shirt getting wet whenever I pour a lot of liquid on it!”

“I wish my iPhone 4 or 5 would not get so damaged every time I carefully place it at the bottom of a jug filled with water!”

“My new white shoes have been stained by the chocolate sauce and mustard I squeezed on them earlier! What gives?!”

“This cardboard box I chose to hold all of the water is just not doing a great job of it!

These are all things you’re used to saying, but you will be saying them no longer! After a two year wait, Rust-Oleum’s NeverWet – an invention of Ross Nanotechnology (great business name, Ross) – has just hit shelves in the States.

It is “a family of super hydrophobic coating that completely repels water and heavy oils,” and you can buy it online here for $20 a can."

&
"Couple questions left unanswered:

A) What does it taste like?

B) What does it feel like?

C) How much cancer will it give me, and how quickly?

D) What happens if you get it on your hands and then you want to wash it off your hands? Will you be NeverWet forever?

5) If you spray the inside walls of a glass tumbler with NeverWet but not the inside base of that tumbler, and then you fill up the tumbler with water or with another liquid of your choice, like mustard, will it form a mustard tower inside the tumbler? Can you take a photo of the mustard tower and send it to us very soon?"

How To Make Beignets!

Mobius says...

"video jug no longer permits this content to be viewed on this domain. click here to view on videojug.com "

Do they have something against videosift or is this a version of a blocked message ?

Kamasutra 3D - Photo Shoot Video with Sherlyn Chopra

Bottles beware! He has a Katana

Confucius says...

List of sequential reactions I had:

1. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...*deep breath*.....omg BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA..*wipe tears from eyes*
2. Oh.....uh..nvm...5 gallon jug....actually kind of awesome
3. Wow....holy crap massive sweatpants
4. Realization that this was taken over multiple days
5. Re-BWAHAHAHAHAH
5. 32 pack? No way. Oh yes.
5. Holy Ginsu those are sharp
6. Upvote..moar pls

Police officer deals with open carry activist

Hive13 says...

I don't understand why so many people are terrified of guns. They simply aren't scary. Up until the early 1900's, almost every family living in the US had a gun in the house. The United States wouldn't even exist if the colonials hadn't hidden and stockpiled their gun from the British as that was the first thing the British did when moving into a new town.....confiscating the guns. This emasculated the men, most volunteer "soldiers", and made revolt much less likely and population control much more manageable.

The 2nd amendment was created not for hunting or for sport, but for the civil defense of our citizens against tyranny and control. The authors of the constitution remembered how hard it was having weapons removed by government control and wanted to have measure in place to allow citizens to legally carry arms to defend themselves against similar actions in the future. It is a very empowering right.

In 2008, there were 75 deaths by firearm of children aged 1-15, 24 of which were actually suicides that were included in that gun death total. By contrast, 1,543 children of that same age group were killed in moving vehicle accidents and 735 by drowning. Therefore, we should be SIGNIFICANTLY more afraid of cars and pools than of guns by a wide margin, yet we don't have people calling the police because some kids are in a swimming pool or riding in a car.

Every male in Switzerland has a government issued semi-auto rifle. Literally every one (420,000+), yet they have some of the lowest crime rates in the entire world.

"Police statistics for the year 2006 records 34 killings or attempted killings involving firearms, compared to 69 cases involving bladed weapons and 16 cases of unarmed assault. Cases of assault resulting in bodily harm numbered 89 (firearms) and 526 (bladed weapons). As of 2007, Switzerland had a population of about 7,600,000. This would put the rate of killings or attempted killings with firearms at about one for every quarter million residents yearly. This represents a decline of aggravated assaults involving firearms since the early 1990s. The majority of gun crimes involving domestic violence are perpetrated with army ordnance weapons, while the majority of gun crime outside the domestic sphere involves illegally held firearms." - Wikipedia (of course)

My point is that guns are not inherently dangerous, significantly less in fact than a car or water statistically speaking. Having an armed society is a very good thing. Fearing people with guns only gives the gun power that it wouldn't have otherwise. Yes, there are shitty people out there doing bad things with guns, but I am more afraid of the distracted soccer mom in her minivan talking on the phone while beating her kids in the backseat while jugging a Starbucks latte driving 10 MPH over the limit (which I see all the time) than anyone carrying a gun. A good percentage of armed robberies aren't even committed with real guns, but the power that people without solid gun knowledge gives those guns, even fake, is what makes them dangerous.

Also, just an FYI, there are over 270,000,000 guns held by private citizens in this country yet 14,000 murders were committed by guns in 2010, and gun crime is down 11% since that time. That is a very low number of firearm murders considering how many guns are actually out there.

I am climbing off my soapbox now.

Obama: If I had a son, he'd look like Trayvon

quantumushroom says...

More proof the Obamateur has no clue. By injecting his ginormous, jug-eared ego into a local matter, he has actually made it harder to prosecute Zimmerman, should it come to that.

Do note that last year in Florida, Nicholas Lindsey, a 16-year old Black kid, shot and killed a White cop without provocation. Where were the liberals then?

Exactly.



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