*** GROAN ALERT *** GROAN ALERT *** GROAN ALERT *** GROAN ALERT ***

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.

They faxed.

They e-mailed.

They e-mailed with attachments .

They downloaded.

They did spreadsheets!

They wrote reports.

They created labels and cards.

They created charts and graphs.

They did some genealogy reports

They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with Heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off..

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.

Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:

"It's gone! It's all GONE! "I lost everything when the power went out!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.

Satan observed this and became irate.

"Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"

God just shrugged and said,

JESUS SAVES

Wow, those 8 year olds have convinced me!
From now on I'll have to judge everyone by what their name rhymes with, and classify all my friends by through-bread genealogy!

This belittles the collective entrusted to a worthy charge....I endorse your discarding this grspec, or down-voting till it ceases to breathe......Hate shit like this.....assholes are tender things.......and this can't end yer genealogy, just embarrass yer girlfriend.

Hahahaha. The best part is where "Elohim" comes a'knockin'.

Do Mormons really study their genealogy by searching graveyards at night?

Nope. Not even Biblical scholars think that the Bible is presenting literal history in its "genealogy" -- but rather how it services the stories in the book:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genealogy_of_Jesus
I also would argue that the Book of Mormon is just as "accurate" as any of the other books in the Bible. If age and the passing down of stories from one generation to the next equaled historical truth, there'd still be people praying to Zeus and Poseidon, no?

I agree that quoting the Bible makes little sense when speaking to an atheist since a Christian believes that the scriptures are inspired by God and the atheist does not believe in God. However, the Bible does not only contain the wise sayings of sages, but descriptions of people and events – historical references -- that can be substantiated or disproved by comparing them with accounts provided by secular historians of the day. Since the Bible contains detailed genealogies of actual people who lived and died, it is quite reasonable for an atheist to believe in the historically verifiable pieces of the Bible while still discounting the parts that cannot be proven. If the Bible has been shown to historically accurate, the atheist should have no trouble agreeing that Jesus Christ was a descendant of King David, who was a descendant of Moses. In fact in the face of historical texts, it would take more faith to disbelieve this. It is also reasonable for an atheist to agree with the Christian that a man born in Bethlehem, Jesus Christ, during the rein of Cesar Augustus does appear to fulfill many prophesies written concerning a future descendant of King David (most notably that he would claim to be the son of God and that he would be put to death for it). What we do with this claim is the primary thing that separates the Christian from the Atheist.

But let's be clear on what is in the Bible and what is not. Slyrr is quoting the Book of Mormon, not the Bible. There is a big difference. The Book of Mormon was unearthed and translated from text inscribed on shiny sheets by Joseph Smith (founder of the Church of Latter Day Saints) in 1823. According to Wiki, these texts were only shown to eight people and most of them fell away from the religion, so the whole thing seems rather suspect to me. I see no historical basis for it that can be substantiated.

Snake: I noticed that you quoted Blaise Pascal. Pascal devoted much of his life to using reason and logic to argue for the existence of God, it seems odd to use one of his quotes to argue the opposite.
"It is the heart which perceives God and not the reason. That is what faith is: God perceived by the heart, not by the reason." -- Blaise Pascal