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Lesbians Touch a Penis for the First Time. Yikes.

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Miss America Pageant

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Miss America Pageant

ChaosEngine says...

"Donald Trump: a clown made of mummified foreskin and cotton candy"

omg, I nearly choked on my coffee. That is the best description of Trump ever.

Fuck, there's some actually journalism happening there.

HIV, Circumcision & The Fight Against AIDS SciShow

ChaosEngine says...

As someone who is against circumcision by default, let me just say:

If you chop off your sons foreskin for cosmetic, cultural or religious reasons, that's child abuse.

And if you do it with a freaky old man removing the skin with his mouth, well, that's just fucking weird....

but

if an adult male makes an informed decision to get circumcized, I have no problem with that.

if you can show a genuine harm reduction (i.e. lower chance of HIV) for infants, I can also get behind that. This is the point of science. When there is new evidence, you change your mind.

Drew Carey - 101 Big Dick Jokes

notarobot says...

I couldn't find a video that didn't cut the sound off at then end, but I found a list for you and posted it here:

1. My dick is so big, there's still snow on it in the summertime.
2. My dick is so big, I went to The Viper Room and my dick got right in. I had to stand there and argue with the doorman.
3. My dick is so big, I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company.
4. My dick is so big, it won't return Spielberg's calls.
5. My dick is so big, it graduated a year ahead of me from high school.
6. My dick has an elevator and a lobby.
7. My dick has an better credit than I do.
8. My dick is so big, clowns climb out of it when I cum.
9. My dick is so big, it was once overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.
10. My dick is so big, it has casters.
11. My dick is so big, I'm already fucking a girl tomorrow.
12. My dick is so big, ships use it to find their way into the harbor.
13. My dick is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. My Dick
14. My dick is so big, it lives next door.
15. My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second, and third.
16. My dick is so big, it votes.
17. My dick is a better dresser than I am.
18. My dick is so big, it has a three-picture deal.
19. My dick is so big that the head of it has only seen my balls in pictures.
20. My dick is so big, Henry Aaron used it to hit his 750th home run.
21. My dick runs the 440 in fifteen seconds.
22. My dick is the Walrus, koo koo ga joob.
23. No matter where I go my dick always gets there first.
24. My dick takes longer lunches than I do.
25. My dick contributed $50,000 to the Democratic National Committee.
26. My dick was once the ambassador to China.
27. My dick is so big, it's gone condo.
28. My dick hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.
29. My dick was almost drafted by the Cleveland Browns, but Art Modell didn't want a bigger dick than he was on the team.
30. My dick is so big, I use the Eiffel Tower as a French tickler.
31. It's so big, when it rains the head of my dick doesn't get wet.
32. My dick is so big, I could wear it sas a tie if I wasn't so aftaid of getting a hard-on and killing myself.
33. My dick is so big, I have to use an elastic zipper.
34. My dick is so big, it has feet.
35. My dick is so big, a homeless family lives underneath it.
36. My dick is so big, it takes four fat women and a team of Clydesdales to jack me off.
37. My dick is so big, my mother was in labor for three extra days.
38. My dick is so big, they use the bullet train to test my condoms.
39. My dick is so big, it has investors.
40. My dick is so big, it seats six.
41. My dick is so big, I use a hula hoop as a cock ring.
42. My dick is so big, we use it at parties as a limbo pole.
43. My dick is so big, King Kong is going to crawl up it in the next remake.
44. My dick is so big, it has an opening act.
45. My dick is so big I can fuck an elevator shaft.
46. My dick is so big, it has its own Wheaties box.
47. My dick is so big, I have to cook it breakfast in the mornings.
48. My dick is so big, the city had to carve a hole in the middle of it so cars could get through.
49. My dick is so big, every time I get hard I cause a solar eclipse.
50. My dick is so big, it only plays arenas.
51. If you cut my dick in two, you can tell how old I am.
52. My dick was once set on fire for a Dino DiLaurnetis movie.
53. My dick is so big, it needs an airplane warning light.
54. My dick is so big, Trump owns it.
55. My dick is so big, that we're all a part of it, and it's all a part of us.
56. My dick is so big, I can never sit in the front row.
57. My dick is so big, it has its own dick. And even my dick's dick is bigger than your dick.
58. My dick is so big, you can't blow me without a ladder.
59. My dick is so big, it only does one show a night.
60. My dick is so big, you can ski down it.
61. My dick is so big, it has an elbow.
62. My dick is so big, I have to check it as luggage when I fly.
63. My dick is so big, it has a personal trainer.
64. My dick is so big, that right now it's in the other room fixing us drinks.
65. My dick is so big, it has a retractable dome.
66. My dick is so big, it has stairs up the center like the Statue of Liberty.
67. My dick is so big, there's a sneaker named "Air My Dick."
68. My dick is so big, I'm its bitch.
69. My dick is so big, it's against the law to fuck me without protective headgear.
70. My dick is so big, I could fuck a tuba.
71. My dick is so big, Stephen Hawking has a theory about it.
72. My dick is so big, it has its own gravity.
73. NASA once launched a space probe to search for the tip of my dick.
74. My dick is so big, it's impossible to see all of it without a satellite.
75. The inside of my dick contains billions an dbillions of stars.
76. My dick is so big, it has a spine.
77. My dick is so big, it has a basement.
78. My dick is so big, movie theatres now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My Dick.
79. My dick is more muscular than I am.
80. My dick is so big it has cable.
81. My dick is so big, it violates seventeen zoning laws.
82. My dick is so big, it has its own page in the Sierra Club calendar.
83. My dick is so big, it has a fifty-yard line.
84. My dick is so big, I was once in Ohio and got a blow job in Tennessee.
85. My dick is so big, Las Vegas casinos fly it into town for free.
86. My dick is so big, I can braid it.
87. My dick is so big, than when it's Eastern Standard Time at the tip, it's Central Mountain Time at my balls.
88. My dick is so big, I painted the foreskin red, white, and blue and used it as a flag.
89. My dick is so big, I can sit on it.
90. My dick is so big it can chew gum.
91. My dick is so big, it only tips with hundreds.
92. My dick is so big, the Carnegie Deli named a sandwich after it. Actually, two sandwiches.
93. My dick is so big, the city was going to build a statue of it but they ran out of cement.
94. My dick is so big, Michael Jackson wants to build an amusement park on it.
95. My dick is so big, when I get hard my eyebrows get pulled down to my neck.
96. My dick is so big, you're standing on it.
97. My dick is so big, it only comes into work when it feels like it.
98. My dick is so big, it plays golf with the president.
99. My dick is so big, it charges money for its autograph.
100. My dick is so big, it has an agent. My dick's people will call your people. Let's have lunch with my dick.
101. My dick is so big, it's right behind you.

lucky760 said:

Hey, I got robbed. Was that all 101? It seems to be cut off.

The REAL Reason You're Circumcised

lucky760 says...

Don't misconstrue (or misunderstand) my words.

I said it's ignorant to just blindly state everyone who circumcises is barbaric and misinformed and that otherwise everyone is only possibly motivated by religious or aesthetic reasons.

The bottom line is we were not sure about doing it one way or the other, but we decided to give our boys what we know is the best chance against contracting HIV (heterosexually) among other things.

Finns probably have a lot less disease to worry about spreading around.

Yes, like everything in life, there may be valid reasons that could convince anyone to do it or to not do it. In my case, we made an informed decision that the foreskin isn't necessary and the only real consequences of it removed would be beneficial. Others don't feel that way, and that's fine. I'm not going to shove my opinion down everyone else's throat or call them names for disagreeing.

It would be nice to be afforded the same courtesy.

mintbbb said:

In Finland, I never heard of anybody I knew being circumcised. That is the 'norm'. Do you call Finns ignorant?

The REAL Reason You're Circumcised

lucky760 says...

I've heard reports from several men who had sex before and after and said there was zero difference in sensation.

I circumcised my boys but not at all because of aesthetics, nor to "look like me", and especially not for any kind of religious reason.

We weren't dead-set against leaving them un-cut. In fact, we initially figured we'd just let them be natural.

One reason we decided to go ahead with it is we heard about lots of uncircumcised men have issues that require them to have it done later in life (e.g., phimosis, etc.), but the bigger reason was recent (at that time) studies showed strong evidence that circumcised men are at substantially lower risk for serious life-threatening diseases such as HIV and penile cancer (that results from HPV).

>> Yep, it's fucking barbaric. It is genital mutilation of children, period.

Talk about misinformation from a bunch of barbarians.

It's more barbaric to be completely close-minded, backward-thinking, and ignorant as to why there might possibly exist valid reasons to provide your children an almost 100% chance to avoid a plethora of penis-related problems and life-threatening diseases for their entire life in exchange for what's really a very minor procedure when done soon after birth.

The reasons against it? "It's fucking barbaric." Because... why again? "It just is," I'm sure is the best possible response.

The reasons in favor of it? Don't be so glib. Read the research.

Science Daily from Jan 2010:

Other epidemiological studies have shown that male circumcision is associated with significant reductions in HIV acquisition in men.

The strongest evidence for a cause-and-effect relationship between circumcision and HIV risk reduction came from three randomized-control trials in sub-Saharan Africa, where the circumcision rate is relatively low and the HIV infection rate is relatively high. All three demonstrated a more than 40 percent reduction in HIV acquisition among circumcised men.

The largest of these three studies -- in Rakai, Uganda -- was led by Dr. Ronald H. Gray, an epidemiologist at Johns Hopkins and the scientific paper's senior author. Dr. Gray's group collected penile swabs from all of the circumcision trial study participants, which provided the data for the new TGen-Johns Hopkins study.

The new study found that circumcision -- the removal of the foreskin, or prepuce, from the penis -- eliminates an area of mucous membrane and dramatically changes the penile bacterial ecosystem. Significantly, TGen's analysis of more than 40 types of bacteria, using a 16S rRNA gene-based pyrosequencing approach, suggests that the introduction of more oxygen following circumcision decreases the presence of anaerobic (non-oxygen) bacteria and increases the amount of aerobic (oxygen-required) bacteria.


American Cancer Society:
HPV can also cause cancer of the penis in men. HPV infection is found in about half of all penile cancers. It’s more common in men with HIV and those who have sex with other men.

There is no approved screening test to find early signs of penile cancer. Because almost all penile cancers start under the foreskin of the penis, they may be noticed early in the course of the disease.

...

The 2 main risk factors for genital HPV infection in men are having many sex partners and not being circumcised.

The risk of being infected with HPV is strongly linked to having many sex partners.

Men who are circumcised (have had the foreskin of the penis removed) have a lower chance of getting and staying infected with HPV. Men who have not been circumcised are more likely to be infected with HPV and pass it on to their partners.


Facts like these are "the REAL reasons" my sons are circumcised.

xxovercastxx said:

Were you circumcised later in life so you are able to compare sex before and after? If not, then no, you can't say that.

The REAL Reason You're Circumcised

Sagemind says...

To say, "see, no harm done" is like cutting off your baby toes at birth. you never had them, so you never missed them. But the toes are still missing. Why? because someone thought it would be a good idea.

Now, the foreskin isn't being removed for no reason at all, it's being removed because someone with power had really-sick, messed-up, uneducated attitudes towards sex. Then they wanted to control everyone else's attitudes towards sexuality. So they came up with this sadistic surgery to stop teenage boys from masturbating. The thing is, this is all in the name of religion as well.

So, regardless if you feel like you've lost nothing in the process, you are continuing the mutilation in the name of one or two people's interpretation of religious beliefs and purposefully hacking off pieces of new born babies.

I have no idea how anyone can think, oh, ya, well, they did it to me so... I must do it to all my children.
That is just messed up....

OK, seems, I have a strong opinion on this.. I'll disengage now

Rabbis Singing Simon and Garfunkel

Circumcision vs. HIV: the truth about the studies (Health Talk Post)

Stephen Fry reviews Book of Genesis

hpqp says...

>> ^Unsung_Hero:

The Old Testament of the bible is fun to read. It's chalked full of God smiting people, talking snakes, rape, murder, love triangles, and magic.
The New Testament is like the instructions from IKEA... You should probably read it but it's easy to convince yourself not to.


Don't forget the incest; the OT looooooves itself some incest. And foreskin fetishes.

As for the NT, it would be like an IKEA manual if the latter condemned you to eternal torture for shopping with another brand, or (God forbid!) making your own furniture.

Circumcision - People Are Talking

gwiz665 says...

I almost had an small adult circumcision for medical reasons (simply TOO BIG for the foreskin), but me a doctorman decided that we didn't have to cut too much, and just did a little snip thing. YOU HAVEN'T EXPERIENCED FEAR UNTIL BLOOD RUNS FROM YOUR PENIS!

Anyways, that was an example of an actual good reason for getting it. Mutilating children with this is just barbaric. We don't cut off parts of the ear, just because we get earwax, or because we have to "hear the word of God" - but we do if our earlobe gets skin cancer.


Reason, people. Germany has it. Well, they do now.

Circumcision - People Are Talking

Circumcision - People Are Talking

swedishfriend says...

People still claim health benefits from circumcision. Why? so you too can mutilate your kids? One nurse told us (about our newborn) to pull the foreskin back regularly to clean underneath! Craziness! The doctor told us pull it back no more than enough to expose the tip for any cleaning. That foreskin stays put and seals off the rest of the head until you are horny enough in puberty to pull it back yourself (not very painful when you are horny, believe me). This is probably similar in function to the hymen in that it makes for a smaller chance of an infection.

The Joe Rogan Experience: Best of Joey Diaz Vol.1

budzos says...

That fucking story about pouching pool cleaner in his foreskin is intense. LOL

Bert Kreischler is annoying to me though. I don't listen when he's on.



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