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America' Next Top Crack Head!

At least she's sorry [and well coiffed to boot] =oD

It probably took him slightly less time to build that than it did to craft his hair into such a perfectly coiffed mess.

So much for a warm and fuzzy roast. OK, we still have fuzzy.

If NeuralNoise’s friends think he looks like Woolverine, perhaps they think his brother looks like Chewy.

NeuralNoise seem to be quite friendly with future son-in-law, siftbot. ‘Guess putting some coins in ole sifty would make a good shaker while practicing the samba dance.

Since he did bring up the subject of amputees, it makes one wonder if making them amputees is part of the fetish? The Wolverine claw bit provokes my question.

Two of his five listed cherished possessions are hair and limbs. I would have thought some other body possessions would come before hair. Some aging guys around here might be a tad jealous of his coif.

Finally we have a roastee who actually lives in a country that includes the Amazon River, yet his list of fears does not include the Candiru. (See Roasts IX and X)

Here is Doc_M's response to his roast questions. Use it for ammunition.

1. What do you do when you are not at the computer?
Work... usually in the lab. Otherwise, music, tae kwon do, golf, etc.

2. What is your favorite of your posted videos?
I think, either the HBO intro from the 80's for nostalgia or of course this for the shear "holy crap" effect.

3. How many avatars have you had since being a member? What were (are) they?
I might be the only one who can say this, but 1, you're looking at it.

4. What non-self-involved site do you visit most often?
Neatorama.com and Gizmodo.com... I'm easily entertained... and a geek.

5. If you had a time machine, would you go to the future or the past? And why?
Past... very... as in millions of years.

6. What is your ratio of pairs of shoes to underwear?
3:30 or something like that.

7. Is that underwear boxer, brief, or birthday?
A little from column A, a little from column B.

8. Do you run a Mac OS, Windows, or Linux?
Vista. Oh, I'm gonna get grief for this one...

9. Would you most prefer to be involved in a monumental one-of-a-kind hiking expedition, working on a breakthrough cure for a debilitating illness , or presenting the discovery of a revolutionary new way to parse data?
How about finding a breakthrough cure for a debilitating illness while on a monumental one-of-a-kind hiking expedition? Heck, Ventnor is all about that kinda stuff... granted, he's kinda on the rich side.

10. What is your favorite ice cream topping?
Peanuts

Favorite (non-ice-cream-related) spice?
Rosemary or perhaps turmeric.

11. Are you a breast, butt, or legs man?
Face, but a perky rack is a nice bonus.

12. What kind of pet(s) do you have? Include name(s).
I used to have fish. They never told me their names.

13. What scares you most about Rosie O'donell?
The open threat of Kooshballs of mass destruction. That and she's nuckin' futs.

14. What is your favorite kind of soup?
French Onion... hands down.

15. What is your most frequented source of news?
Drudge hehe... I'm gonna suffer for that one too.

16. What is your beverage of choice?
Starbucks stuff when I'm feeling less poor, Coke when I'm feeling more poor, Rob Roys when I'm out on the town.

17. Have you ever been arrested?
Nay, but I once killed a man with my bare hands ... ok, that's not true, but if it were, that'd be far more interesting.

18. What’s your go-to move for making a good first impression?
Good old fashioned confidence is a powerful thing.

19. How would you describe your coif: bangs, balding or rug?
Mop on even months, spiky on odd months.

20. Is your face clean-shaven or do you have a beard, a goatee or a mustache?
Clean.

21. List your five most cherished possessions.
I really don't value "stuff" too much, but I guess I could say the "stuff" I would not like to lose any time soon includes:
My PC
My Lancer
My crate of vinyl
My piano
My WoW character <.< >.> <.<
22. What religion, if any, did you practice as a child?
Christian

23. What about now?
Same

24. What is your favorite memory?
Sitting in my dorm window after my last final in college. It was one of those perfect moments.

25. What was your favorite childhood television show?
Fraggle Rock!

26. How would you describe your personal style/sense of fashion/taste for life/artistic flair?
Hoodies, more or less trendy T-shirts, and jeans.

27. What is a reason not to go to Burning Man?
I was at Flaming Woman that day.

28. Who is your favorite Sift Hero?
QuantumMushroom. Isn't he everyone's hero?

29. Do you have any image(s) of yourself online that you're willing to share?
http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e194/GenGradPSU/Me.jpg

30. What goal to you have while a Videosift member?
Inform/entertain/rock the boat a bit.

31. Do you upvote comments more for their originality, sense of humor, or self-deprecation?
Humor for sure. Also information, insight, and stuff I particularly agree with.

Here are snipes's responses to the survey:

1. What do you do when you are not at the computer?
I'm a hockey ref so I'm basically at the rink or running on call for the Red Cross. Last week was 16 games so I haven't had much online time.
2. What is your favorite of your posted videos?
It has to be The Myth of the Liberal Media since I have a republican family or The Award Winning Boondocks Gas Station Robbery for it's reference to Iraq.
3. How many avatars have you had since being a member? What were (are) they?
Just the one of Inuyasha, I love anime.
4. What non-self-involved site do you visit most often?
Most likely CNN or Flickr.
5. If you had a time machine would you keep it clean?
What the hell? No I'd just let it sit and collect dust like most of my electronics.
6. What is your ratio of pairs of shoes to underwear?
1:20
7. Is that underwear boxer, brief, or birthday?
Only really boxers, but since I'm overdue on laundry I went commando today.
8. Do you run a Mac OS, Windows, or Linux?
All 3, an OSX emulator, XP and Ubuntu
9. Would you most prefer to be involved in a monumental one-of-a-kind hiking expedition, working on a breakthrough cure for a debilitating illness , or presenting the discovery of a revolutionary new way to parse data?
Hiking, I love the outdoors and camping, I'm a survivalist buff.
10. What is your favorite ice cream topping? Favorite (non-ice-cream-related) spice?
Whipped cream for various purposes.
11. Are you a tits, ass, or legs man?
Face really, if you haven't noticed I'm obsessed with Scottish girls like KT Tunstall.
12. What kind of pet(s) do you have? Include name(s).
Goldie, my pooch from '99 who's a mix of husky, lab and chow.
13. What kind of pelt(s) do you have? Include name(s).
Rabbit, from some weird Indian chick.
14. What is your favorite kind of soup?
None
15. What is your most frequented source of news?
Usually CNN or <a rel="nofollow" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.app.com> my local news paper
16. What is your beverage (poison) of choice?
Rootbeer schnapps, cream and vanilla vodka, yeah yeah it's a chick drink.
17. Have you ever been arrested?
Detained, yes, for street racing.
18. What’s your go-to move for making a good first impression?
I skip movies, I'd rather have a dinner to talk about, however horror movies score some close intimate time.
19. How would you describe your coif: bangs, balding or rug?
Bangs with long ass hair, you've probably seen it.
20. Is your face clean-shaven or do you have a beard, a goatee or a mustache?
goatee, although most people hate it.
21. List your five most cherished possessions.
Friends, Computers, my Tiburon, cell phone and does videosift count?
22. What religion, if any, did you practice as a child?
As a kid I was grown up Catholic, I've developed my own sense or religion though, no churches and that crap.
23. What about now?
I'm a mix of Christian and Buddhist if you had to pin it down.
24. What is your favorite memory?
Let's call it college experimentation.
25. What was your favorite childhood television show?
Fraggle Rock!!!!!!!!!!
26. How would you describe your personal style/sense of fashion/taste for life/artistic flair?
More a mix of Punk Dressy type stuff and H&M fashion.
27. What is a reason not to go to Burning Man?
Airfare
28. Who is your favorite Sift Hero?
Hero? Dag and lucky, the champions of the sift.
29. Do you have any image(s) of yourself online that you're willing to share?
Sure, you've seen it, working and rocking videosift.
30. What goal to you have while a Videosift member?
Add new members!!!
31. Do you upvote comments more for their originality, sense of humor, or self-deprecation?
Most likely if it makes me laugh or hits on a huge point.

I "graded" your quiz

1. What do you do when you are not at the computer?

• Paint - That figures
• Watch DVDs - Wow you don't leave the house?
• Attend movies - By yourself most likely
• Work Sudoku puzzles - Afraid of real math?
• Get together with friends - Free meals at the soup kitchen don't count as "get together with friends
• Dine at restaurants - Translation: Dig in the dumpsters behind restaurants
• Attend art presentations - Staring at the back tattoo of a tranny prostitute hardly counts as "attending art presentations"
• Attend Mac meetings - ...
• Visit art museums/exhibitions - You already said that, but then again you probably don't have much going on in your life
• Take digital photos and videos - Draw "cave paintings" on the walls of the overpass you live under.
• Attend parties/receptions - Always the crasher never the invitee?
• Read books on art - Read...books...on...art. hmmm...fascinating

2. What is your favorite of your posted videos?

“MANtage” - you spelled "MANspooge" wrong

3. How many avatars have you had since being a member? What were (are) they?

Ten
• dot art – levee break waves
• dot art – 40 shades of blue
• dot art – green Chinese lion
• dot art – purple design from plaster relief
• dot art – leopard-like patterns
• dot art – eye shapes orange on black
• rainy windshield photo
• Dutch Alley blur
• pond goldfish photo
• Chinese dragon float profile photo (current one)
^Just can't quite encapsulate your mediocrity through visual aids, eh?

4. What non-self-involved site do you visit most often?

Apple Movie Trailers - To look at coming attractions nobody will ever invite you to see

5. If you had a time machine would you keep it clean?

Clean?!? What does that mean?!? - You know, clean like how you feel after your bimonthly dip in the sewers

6. What is your ratio of pairs of shoes to underwear?

1: 21 - Make that 1/2 : 1

7. Is that underwear boxer, brief, or birthday?

Boxers - Women's panties

8. Do you run a Mac OS, Windows, or Linux?

Mac OS - Coincidently Mac & Cheese is your main source of nutrition too

9. Would you most prefer to be involved in a monumental one-of-a-kind hiking expedition, working on a breakthrough cure for a debilitating illness, or presenting the discovery of a revolutionary new way to parse data?

presenting the discovery of a revolutionary new way to parse data - Pretending to have a girlfriend while dry humping his semen encrusted matress

10. What is your favorite ice cream topping? Favorite (non-ice-cream-related) spice?

Topping – chocolate syrup - By the time you get to the ice cream, it's already melted
Spice - saffron - Dried eucalyptus leaves

11. Are you a tits, ass, or legs man?

Yes - Translation: "I'm desparate"

12. What kind of pet(s) do you have? Include name(s).

Used to have cats:

Red (orange tabby) - killed and ate it
Storm (gray tabby with white socks – picked out Spring 1991 during Desert Storm) - Road kill that you found and dragged around on a leash for the summer of '91
Pierre (peppered fur mix) - Make believe animal that keeps me company during those lonely nights

13. What kind of pelt(s) do you have? Include name(s).

None. However, a former girlfriend brought me The Australian Lucky Pouch when she returned from her trip her trip Down Under. - Hahahaha! girlfriend...that's rich

14. What is your favorite kind of soup?

Turtle with a splash of sherry - Whatever's being served at the shelter

15. What is your most frequented source of news?

WWL Radio - 2 week old newspapers that you use to wipe your ass

16. What is your beverage (poison) of choice?

Iced Tea - "...you know how I know you're gay?"

17. Have you ever been arrested?

No. - The Phantom Pooper still hasn't been caught

18. What’s your go-to move for making a good first impression?

Get a person talking about her/himself and pray its not over my head. - Try not to get close enough to the person to be smelled

19. How would you describe your coif: bangs, balding or rug?

Thinning - HAHAHAHAHA

20. Is your face clean-shaven or do you have a beard, a goatee or a mustache?

Beard - Translation: I can't afford a razor

21. List your five most cherished possessions.

• House - Cardboard box
• Volvo - Shopping Cart
• Mac - & Cheese
• Camera - Old crayon or feces drawn on walls and sidewalks
• DVD player - "I can't play it, cause I don't have a TV but it sure is pretty and it'll score me a couple crack rocks"

22. What religion, if any, did you practice as a child?

Roman Catholicism - suppressed memories

23. What about now?

Same. - Translation: I do to little boys what was done to me

24. What is your favorite memory?

Surprise trip to Disneyworld even though us kids were told to pack for Gulfport, MS - Finding a quarter on the ground

25. What was your favorite childhood television show?

“Speed Racer” - It was really "My Little Pony"

26. How would you describe your personal style/sense of fashion/taste for life/artistic flair?

personal style – put my stamp on what I do - Translation: I fart wherever I am
sense of fashion – I like color, except the days I prefer black - "OH, woe is me I'm such a DEEP artist type"
taste for life – take time to appreciate whom I’m with, where I am and what I’m doing - Translation: Sit in an alcove yelling at people who don't give me spare change
artistic flair – experimentation and reinvention - Translation: Crap nobody will like and stealing other people's work

27. What is a reason not to go to Burning Man?

I already live in a hot climate. - No transportation, no friends, no car, no water, you're missing a shoe

28. Who is your favorite Sift Hero?

Fedquip - Translation: Rottenseed

29. Do you have any image(s) of yourself online that you're willing to share?

‘Will link shortly. - "uh...er...well you see is, I'm horribly disfigured and I hope everybody will forget about this question"

30. What goal to you have while a Videosift member?

Contribute to the “good of the order.” - Find somebody that'll love me for the stinky, poor, pseudo-artist I am

31. Do you upvote comments more for their originality, sense of humor, or self-deprecation?

I upvote on impulse, PERIOD. - "I can't read."

And now for the rest of the story . . . The ANSWERS to all things dot . . .

1. What do you do when you are not at the computer?

• Paint
• Watch DVDs
• Attend movies
• Work Sudoku puzzles
• Get together with friends
• Dine at restaurants
• Attend art presentations
• Attend Mac meetings
• Visit art museums/exhibitions
• Take digital photos and videos
• Attend parties/receptions
• Read books on art

2. What is your favorite of your posted videos?

“MANtage”

3. How many avatars have you had since being a member? What were (are) they?

Ten
• dot art – levee break waves
• dot art – 40 shades of blue
• dot art – green Chinese lion
• dot art – purple design from plaster relief
• dot art – leopard-like patterns
• dot art – eye shapes orange on black
• rainy windshield photo
• Dutch Alley blur
• pond goldfish photo
• Chinese dragon float profile photo (current one)

4. What non-self-involved site do you visit most often?

Apple Movie Trailers

5. If you had a time machine would you keep it clean?

Clean?!? What does that mean?!?

6. What is your ratio of pairs of shoes to underwear?

1: 21

7. Is that underwear boxer, brief, or birthday?

Boxers

8. Do you run a Mac OS, Windows, or Linux?

Mac OS

9. Would you most prefer to be involved in a monumental one-of-a-kind hiking expedition, working on a breakthrough cure for a debilitating illness, or presenting the discovery of a revolutionary new way to parse data?

presenting the discovery of a revolutionary new way to parse data

10. What is your favorite ice cream topping? Favorite (non-ice-cream-related) spice?

Topping – chocolate syrup
Spice - saffron

11. Are you a tits, ass, or legs man?

Yes

12. What kind of pet(s) do you have? Include name(s).

Used to have cats:

Red (orange tabby)
Storm (gray tabby with white socks – picked out Spring 1991 during Desert Storm)
Pierre (peppered fur mix)

13. What kind of pelt(s) do you have? Include name(s).

None. However, a former girlfriend brought me The Australian Lucky Pouch when she returned from her trip her trip Down Under.

14. What is your favorite kind of soup?

Turtle with a splash of sherry

15. What is your most frequented source of news?

WWL Radio

16. What is your beverage (poison) of choice?

Iced Tea

17. Have you ever been arrested?

No.

18. What’s your go-to move for making a good first impression?

Get a person talking about her/himself and pray its not over my head.

19. How would you describe your coif: bangs, balding or rug?

Thinning

20. Is your face clean-shaven or do you have a beard, a goatee or a mustache?

Beard

21. List your five most cherished possessions.

• House
• Volvo
• Mac
• Camera
• DVD player

22. What religion, if any, did you practice as a child?

Roman Catholicism

23. What about now?

Same.

24. What is your favorite memory?

Surprise trip to Disneyworld even though us kids were told to pack for Gulfport, MS

25. What was your favorite childhood television show?

“Speed Racer”

26. How would you describe your personal style/sense of fashion/taste for life/artistic flair?

personal style – put my stamp on what I do
sense of fashion – I like color, except the days I prefer black
taste for life – take time to appreciate whom I’m with, where I am and what I’m doing
artistic flair – experimentation and reinvention

27. What is a reason not to go to Burning Man?

I already live in a hot climate.

28. Who is your favorite Sift Hero?

Fedquip

29. Do you have any image(s) of yourself online that you're willing to share?

‘Will link shortly.

30. What goal to you have while a Videosift member?

Contribute to the “good of the order.”

31. Do you upvote comments more for their originality, sense of humor, or self-deprecation?

I upvote on impulse, PERIOD.


Answer you that!

Here I am in all my hyperallergenic middle class vegetarian stereotypical glory.


1. What do you do when you are not on the computer?

eat vegetarian food, fuck a vegetarian, buy vegetables, that sort of thing.
And make music, but that's on a computer... so.... but I play trumpet... Into a computer.


2. Approximate the percentage of time you work and you play on a computer.

like all the freaking time. since i was 5. asthma (see hatred of cars below)
but mostly design or chatting to people back home, i am not a hardcore leet geek hacker or something.
i like any sport that's wet, but i don't live near a lake or sea, so i don't do much sport.
I DJ, with proper records, dnb, dubstep, triphop... no computer. Then i upload the mix into a computer.


3. If you had a time machine would you travel to an era in the past or future? Explain.

depends if you can guarantee my safety, if so, i would like to see the future. but not my own future.


4. What is your ratio of pairs of shoes to undergarments?

1 to 20


5. Do you wear boxers or briefs?

i think you call them trunks.


6. Do you have a Mac, PC or Linux?

mac, but honestly it's only half as annoying as a pc.


7. Would you prefer death by firing squad or salmonella poisoning?

yo firing squad for real. what kind of idiot says anything else? i turned vegetarian after bad food poisoning so, no thanks, not again.


8. Do is you add sprinkles, gravy, nuts or a cherry on top?

gravy? on top of what?


9. Are you a tits, ass, or legs man?

yes.


10. What kind of pet(s) do you have? Include name(s).

none, i would have a cat if i wasn't allergic and i liked the smell of cat piss, i would call it tony blair. no, i would call it whatever my girl wants to call it (see previous question)


11. What is your favorite kind of taco?

those things that break when you bite them and spill meat all over you which (did i mention) i don't eat?


12. What is your favorite source for news?

videosift


13. What is your beer preference? Or other beverage (poison) of choice?

beeeeeer. anything english from a local brewery. Or Svyturys in Lithuania if i want lager, or a real lithuanian live beer, preferably dark. I feel old just typing this. I even like whisky now.


14. Have you ever been arrested?

No. Searched, but they didn't find it hahahahah.


15. Which is your Cheetos preference: Crunchy Cheese or Puffs?

Yikes. You eat that shit?


16. How would you describe your coif: bangs, balding or rug?

bangs wtf?
it's just off the collar, and a bit girly.


17. Is your face clean-shaven or do you have a beard, a goatee or a mustache?

smooth skin: kiss.
scabby red itchy hairy prickly skin: no kiss.


18. List your five most cherished possessions.

any video or audio recording i ever made.
banksy print, powerbook, trumpet, erm... i haven't got much else.


19. What religion did you practice as a child?

anglican christianity, but i didn't get it.


20. What is your favorite childhood memory?

yikes.
can't choose a favourite. i get vivid flashbacks though, normally embarassment or mundanity.
probably best feeling was sailing, in the sun, in a one man boat.
what i didn't like was the time i fell off waterskiing and forgot to clench my buttocks and about 30 litres of water raped me.


21. What was your favorite childhood television show?

terrahawks (gerry anderson... i think i have a sift somewhere)
things that fly out of buildings into space are awwwwweeeeeesssssssommmmeee.

22. What is your most sacred personal rant?

people should fucking create their own shit, and the government should invest more in creativity and education, capitalism alone doesn't work for art.

also cars and outdoor advertising should be banned. especially outdoor advertising of cars.


23. What is a reason not to go to Burning Man?

it's thousands of miles away and the water's expensive?


24. Who is your favorite Sift Hero?

choggie for insisting on creativity, literally with every word he writes.


25. How would your characterize SiftBot: slave, servant or secret overlord?

fiction


26. Do you have any image(s) of yourself online that you're willing to share?

if the roast is fun i am willing to unmask myself a bit. maybe some music. but i post as MINK, not myself, so my face is not relevant to the roast.


27. What is your quest?

to make 100% of my money from creativity and to spread that around. sounds lofty, but so does the word "quest". I do hope that after i die, someone enjoys something I made, and they say "hey, that guy made cool shit, shame he's dead". That's all.


28. What is your favorite color?

red. aries. what can i do.

Let the record show that I resent the male meat eating american bias in these questions but i'm like cool with it, you know, you can't help being a freaking yank.