Let's use this thread to tell one offensive joke each. Nothing off-limits, no holds barred, let it fly. And if Bob doesn't chime in on this one, I'm gonna be disappointed.

Here's mine:

So a Jew is standing in line to go to the gas chamber at Auschwitz and he's kvetching.

"Oy," he moans, "This is the worst day of my life! First the Nazis kill my family, then everything I own is stolen, and now I'm in line to be gassed. God please, PLEASE, send me some relief in my final moments on earth!"

At that moment, a mighty thunderclap sounds and millions of scorpions start falling from the sky.

"God be praised!" the Jew cries out in joy, "Free scorpions!"

This video really does sum up my feelings about Season 8.

I was mostly okay with the first half of Season 8 and could even give the writers a pass for only spending one episode on the battle of Winterfell and the Night King's destruction but...everything after that? Complete shit. I mean, Rhaegal getting shot not once, but twice, by scorpions from the "hidden" Iron Fleet, from what looked like a million miles away, was utter nonsense and only done for shock value. Unlike when the Night King killed Viserion, which was actually moving, Rhaegal's death was pointless and made no sense. For one, how could Dany not see all those ships from up there? Furthermore, it'd be ridiculously hard to hit a fly target, twice in a row, from that distance. Ugh.

The biggest misstep in my opinion was turning Dany into a villain. Her character was one of the more interesting of the series as she went from being a naïve slave, to a fighter, a mother, and ultimately became a champion of the people. She was a strong female character with mostly good, if somewhat flawed, intentions. While her drive to claim the Iron Throne and unite Westeros could be seen as warmongering, she certainly didn't deserve to be portrayed as a mad tyrant. That just seemed forced.

Then we have: Bran the Broken and Jon's banishment to the Night's Watch. What the hell? Everything in the finale seemed so forced and discarded a lot character development established in previous seasons. The last two episodes of season 8 were just really disappointing.

He's nowhere near as useful or lovable as a scorpion. Trump is the absolute worst kind of filth, and this world will be a substantially better place when he is gone. The sooner, the better.

No surprise here. We elected a scorpion, started carrying him across a river, and he is doing what it is in his nature to do.

Your video, Glowing Scorpions, has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.

*ban https://videosift.com/video/Kluna-Tik-NVA-Eating-a-SCORPION-Kluna-Tik-NVA-Dinner-24

Congratulations! Your comment on Hoverbike Scorpion-3 has just received enough votes from the community to earn you 1 Power Point. Thank you for your quality contribution to VideoSift.

Your video, Hoverbike Scorpion-3, has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.

One thing I am looking forward to are good polemics as part of the election's post-mortem. In terms of video footage, both Cenk and Kyle over at TYT and Secular Talk respectively went off the rails quite nicely. But the good stuff, the really good stuff, will trickle in, and exclusively in written form.

Lambert over at NC makes a decent start, given his lack of sleep:

The Democrat establishment was warned about their weak candidate, and they were presented with a popular and well-funded alternative: Bernie Sanders. Instead, as the Podesta emails show in lavish detail, they used their control of the party machinery and their service providers in our famously free press to rig the primary in their favor at every turn. When their candidate was nominated, the Democrat establishment tacked right, and proceeded to explain to Sanders voters that their votes were not needed or even desired because, as #BernieBros, they were racist and sexist. Sanders supporters have every right to say #WeWereRight and #WeToldYouSo.

If this were Japan, we’d be seeing Democrat Party leaders committing seppuku, or cutting off their little fingers or — supposing them not to be gangsters — ritually and tearfully bowing to the people they betrayed. This being America, and these being Democrats, they are feverishly deploying the Blame Cannons at racist and sexist #BernieBros, Johnson, Stein, and the dogs who wouldn’t eat the dog food. These assclowns will only leave office if they’re whipped out with scorpions. So get to it, Sanders supporters. This is your time.

*quality scorpion @10:21

@bareboards2

I've been operational in a war-zone. Shot at twice, and in a Mexican standoff once, but I never fired my own weapon.

Fact is, other developed nations manage just fine (for the most part) when it comes to things like this. It doesn't help that the US has never and probably will never allow any member of the forces to be prosecuted internationally for war crimes.

I know someone who was in Italy many years ago when a US plane decided to buzz underneath the wires of a gondola (the mountain kind, not the Venice kind, obviously). The tail of the plane caught on the wire and 12 people died, including a few children. There was no criminal prosecution for the pilot, crew, or commanding officers. I mean, just look at all the Wikileaks files on war crimes committed by US soldiers, barely any of them received any kind of judicial review (if any at all did, I never heard of them) including indiscriminate killing of random civilians.

Like it or not, that's a part of the US military culture and they worked hard to make things that way. In Vietnam it was estimated that one in a million shots fired from small arms actually HIT an enemy combatant. They learned it was because fewer than one in ten soldiers even TRIED to hit.

On top of that, the pay is so terrible, it's mostly those desperate to lift themselves and their family out of abject poverty that apply for enlisted positions. They are not well-educated and they are certainly not (for the most part) intelligent, hard-working individuals. The US chooses to spend the vast bulk of military spending on technology, rather than people (after all, it's easier to give kickbacks to your political donors that way).

Well, this is the result. A military with no fear of repercussions unless you're one of the poor scapegoats at Abu Ghraib (and if you think they represent even one tenth of the total personnel involved, you're out to lunch) and you're dumb enough to take pictures of yourself, there's pretty much nothing you can do to the 'enemy' that will get you in serious trouble.

Why do you think the Brits insisted on their own zones of Iraq for the second gulf war? In the first one they fought alongside Americans and suffered more casualties from American fire than they did from Iraqi fire. I talked to a Brit armored officer who was in the first gulf war. He went to introduce himself to the colonel of the American unit next to them, the Colonel stared in amazement at the Scorpion light tank and said, "What the hell kind of Bradley is that?" I can guarantee you, every soldier, from Private to the Colonel of my regiment could have identified every armored vehicle on the battlefield.

So these two Jews are in Dachau looking at all the scenes of torture and death surrounding them when one cries out "Oh God, this can't get any worse!" Just then, the cloudy heavens open up and it starts raining scorpions.

"Thank you, God!" he cries out in joy.

"Why are you thanking God for THIS?" the other Jew asks in despair.

"Because -- free scorpions!" he replies.


Your turn, Bob.

Good thing the cat is not a scorpion.

Remember the story of the Scorpion And The Frog?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Scorpion_and_the_Frog