So I was reading this story about a man who was shot for eating popcorn too loudly during a screening of Black Swan, and it got me thinking: though the punishment is probably too severe for the crime, it is a sad fact that a surprising amount of people do not know how to eat popcorn in a civilized manner.  Seriously, it's not that difficult to eat popped corn without being a boar and infuriating your fellow movie-goers.

 HOW TO EAT POPCORN WITHOUT RAISING THE IRE OF THOSE AROUND YOU (ME ESPECIALLY)

1) Pick up a few kernels of popcorn.

2) Put said kernels in your mouth.

3) Close your mouth.

4) Chew, swallow.

5) Repeat.

The most important step here is number three.  Seriously, close your damn mouth before you eat.  A lot of people put popcorn in their mouth, and then crunch down as they are closing their mouth. This means that the first bite is occurring in an open mouth, which allows the sound to reverberate out and aggravate those around you. If you close your mouth before taking that first bite, the sound is cut down by a very large margin, and can only really be heard by someone right next to you during a quiet scene.

(and a tangential lesson that seems apropos is scene awareness -- if it is a really dramatic scene in the movie, and the scene is mostly silent, maybe wait a bit to start munching on your snacks?  They're not going anywhere.  You can still eat them in a couple of minutes once the scene ends.)

This has been a public service announcement by Sarzy, a frequently infuriated movie-goer.