Food Channel by chingalera

Cooking Channel: Dedicated to edibles. Cooking videos, recipes, food science, and other how-2's of the culinary arts-All things enjoyed through the primary sensory apparatus concerned with processing taste, Buds.

Contest as of January 2014: (Over when it's over, see Sift Talk)

Submit a recipe to be judged with prizes as described

..... in the sift talk arena up towards the top of the page-Prizes as always to be had, better than some stodgy shit you otherwise get in yer mail-type-box.

Current Contest: Cookies

Broccoli Soup Pictures

From or but I'd suggest allowing an extra 5 minutes to clean soup off your wall afterwards... that first step of pulsing apparently needs more skill than I have.

I would say that this soup was a huge success, it's my equal easiest soup (tied with miso soup) and very yummy. I skipped the cheese and walnuts, and will probably skip the drizzle of extra virgin olive oil next time too, it didn't seem to add much.

Lentil soup (food for sifting)


3 tablespoons oil, 2 chopped onions, 1 chopped carrot, 2 chopped celery sticks, 1 clove garlic (crushed), 2/3 metric cup lentils (160ml), 1 tsp ground cummin, 4 cups stock (or water), 3 tomatoes peeled seeded and chopped, salt and pepper to season, 1 tablespoon parsley to garnish


Heat oil in a large pan. Add onions, carrot & celery and fry until softened. Add all the rest of the ingredients except tomato, bring to the boil then reduce heat and simmer for 40 minutes, stirring occasionally (needs more stirring near the end). Add tomatoes and salt and pepper to taste and cook further 5 minutes. Pour into warmed tureens and sprinkle with parsley. Serves 6.

Winner of the Cooking Channel Cuntess, TBA..NOW!

Results are eaten, there are leftovers that the dogs' have there noses up counter-height for, thanks to all 3 enthusiastic internet masturbationists who took the time to indulge this heart-warming exercise in benevolent gustrosity.
My whim, as always, Is your low-grade entertainment. So without further interest or adieu, Below are results of the contest, the criteria presented here for your edification having been concocted on-the-fly and please, no protests or suggestions with a view to some revision of the same need be suggested or otherwise elaborated upon..(see internet masturbation).

The judge's (single, disinterested, and hungry third party) criteria were as follows:

Smack Your Mother Good

Chicken Alla Bachelor-7
Filipino Eggrolls-5

Overall Mojo

Chicken Alla Bachelor-4
Filipino Eggrolls-6


Chicken Alla Bachelor-4
Filipino Eggrolls-6

Immediate and Complete Gustatory Experience


Chicken Alla Bachelor-6
Filipino Eggrolls-6

-Satiate on all receptors on tongue (salt,sour,sweet,bitter,savory)
Chicken Alla Bachelor-3
Filipino Eggrolls-5

t o t a l s
Chicken Alla Bachelor-26
Filipino Eggrolls-28

Looks like the winner of the foray would have a total of 30 out of a possible 50, dytopiafurtdy wins with 30 pernts- pumpkinandstorm a close second and 2 points behind, with sheppard's guy-pie chicken-cheese heart-stopper (which I tweaked and was delicious and rich as FUUCK!) in third with a slopping, 26 points.

Thank you all for playing, image links as I update this and one video already out there of the winning recipe during preparation.

P.S>>> The footage I have of the egg rolls will come after editing the 5 vids together from the drunken foray. Pics on my flicker page of all dishes before 7am GMT 3 Feb.

*edit 1:39 A.M. CST 2013 Feb 4

☝ ☝ ☝ ☝ ☝ The edited egg roll excursion, complete with 2nd place fanfare-Feel free whoever would or cares to , sift away-You Tube let us back in with a yay-hoo account.

Cooking Channel Contest

In the spirit of recent non-participation on the new Videosift 5.0 (post more videos people!) and, as threatened, chingalera formerly choggie is concocting a little cooking contest.

The last contest I crafted prior to being banned again by egos now strangely absent or non-participatory was greeted with much fanfare but very few played and I ended up winning my own contest!!

The prize was a charter membership and a T-Shirt. My charter ran out abruptly when banned yet again, and the T-shirt rests folded in the bottom of a drawer (non-mothballed) folded and unworn....which brings us to the contest:

Instead of turning you chair-potatoes into videographers, we'd like recipes. Interested contestants will submit a recipe they think worthy and I shall chose three of them randomly and prepare them according to instructions, making a video of the process (perhaps I shall even edit it!) The winning dish shall be judged by a qualified third-party.

Enter the contest by submitting in a P.M. to my profile, a recipe using these guidelines:

~No desserts.

~You have to have eaten or sampled the same fare prepared according to the same recipe.

~No EPIC mealtime-type recipes (i.e. 20lbs of bacon, gallon of maple syrup, etc.) I'm poor and can't afford to waste food on gastric abortions.

The prevailing contestant will win the coveted T-shirt and 25 power points doled-out as fast as chingachoggie can resurrect deadpool videos.

Let chingalera cook for you! Then, watch him eat that which he's prepared in front of you, while you wear a tacky shirt!!

Entries must be in in before the doomsday ticker on the toppa this post runs out. Preparation begins after I recover form the New Year's festivities, earthquakes, floods, worldwide panic as Niburu passes and fucks up gravity, etc.

Holiday recipes welcome, may be your last.

Potato Soup Recipe

Does anyone have a note worthy Potato Soup recipe ? ? I got a hankering to make me some of that yummy thick bacon bit topped starch laden tuber vegetable goodness.

I want your recipe if you think it is the bees knees.

Mini Sift Up in Norway!

Markus (@smiley), Fredik (@geronimo1) and myself (Yonas / @seltar) have had our first official sift up!

We started the evening with Fredrik making mojitos as an apetizer! - mojito - @seltar, @smiley, @geronimo1

After getting a bit tipsy, it was about time to start the main course, beef salad. - man salad

Having some good homebrew! @geronimo1 is quite the beermaniac. - like sirs - yay, food!

The awesome beef salad (with bacon of course) - close up of food - close up of food, another angle

And then we ate a raspberry pie with vanilla ice cream! Yay!

@smiley says "Hello World!"
@geronimo1 says "Awesome party at Yonas' house!" in reference to the movie Project X that we just watched!

Yay! Successful Sift Up!

Good night everybody!

Black Bean Red Pepper Soup (easy recipe) FINAL VERSION

2 parts Trader Joes Black Bean soup

1 part Trader Joes Red Pepper Tomato soup

Add generous amounts of freshly ground pepper, Tabasco sauce and fresh squeezed lemon juice.

Cook it up and viola!

Add some grated pepper jack over top if you feel the need for cheese.

Healthy, delicious and easy to make.

If you've got some modification suggestions, post them below.

So when did they start selling air to us?

Years ago, I saw an episode of "Late Night with David Letterman" while it was still on NBC, and he had a food engineer on showing how they make marshmallows. I remember distinctly, as he was showing Dave how they extrude the corn syrup-mallow mixture into a tray of cornstarch, the engineer saying that marshmallows were excellent business as the finished product can be anywhere between 50% - 70% air. So you're really selling air back to the customer. Wow, I thought, that's messed up. But hey, they're marshmallows, what are you going to do?

It wasn't until last year that I saw Doritos had reintroduced Taco-flavored Doritos on the store shelves and I snatched one up the second I saw it. I guess they're still available in some parts of the US, but the majority of markets only carry the standard Nacho, Cool Ranch, etc. Sadly, it was still that shitty "Taco Bell recipe" they had switched to in the early 90's and not the scrumptious original sour creamy recipe that the original Taco Doritos had. If you were a stoner in the late 80's and had access to them, there was no finer munchy material to be had. (And on a separate note, Hi-C Ecto Cooler is still the ultimate cottonmouth killer, bar none.)

But more importantly, as I started in on this new found bag of Doritos, something else was amiss. The texture was all wrong. It was no longer a corn chip, but a puffy, flaky abomination that had no density. And it wasn't just Taco flavored. All Doritos...nay, ALL chips have seem to become more flaky, crispy and crappy. I started to see it in other foods too. Cereals...from Fruit Loops to Cheerios, even to Cap'n Crunch (which was puffy to begin with), have all become less and less about texture, and more and more about profit. Less material to make the "same" product, all the way down to less cost to ship based on weight (I assume). Even bread. Now I know you can still get a nice dense potato bread; I'm talking about your average, run of the mill bread. White or wheat.

Anyway, not sure that anything can be done about it, but I sure do miss the old stuff.
Progress marches on, right?

(Oh and just in case some poor Nestle executive stumbles upon this post, what happened to my Carnation Instant Breakfast bars damnit?!)

forms of chicken with vastly different amounts of fat

Why do precooked forms of breaded chicken that you buy from a store typically have 3-5 times the fat:protein ratio of uncooked breaded chicken from the same store? The ratio is typically 1:1 or higher for the former, but I have seen as low as 1:5 for the latter.

Whatever they're doing that quadruples the fat:protein ratio, it's doing NOTHING for the taste vs. just plain baking the uncooked stuff.

Fuck Appletinis

You know, fuck appletinis. It is really all about dirty martinis. It is a delightful drink. Salty, full of alcohol, and you get that little bit of food at the end.

Recently I had a blue-cheese martini which had blue-cheese stuffed olives. Absolutely wonderful.

Tonight I'm two dirty olive vodka martinis down, 4 parts vodka, 1 park olive juice (love you) and 1 part dry vermouth. Mix in the shaker with ice and throw into a martini glass with a bit of the olive juice and 3 olives.

Just felt like sharing.

I'm putting this in the cooking channel because it is all about the taste.

Taco Bell's NEW ContraceptiMelt

Taco Bell Launches New 'Morning After' Burrito

"Taco Bell officials are excited about the offering. 'In the past, before Roe v. Wade, young women literally had to 'make a run for the border' to terminate an unwanted pregnancy,' Taco Bell public relations director Grant Lesko said. 'But now, women can make that same run for the border at over 7,300 convenient locations right in their own hometowns.'"

"'We are in no way advocating any particular view on this most sensitive of issues,' he said. 'We simply want to offer this option. And, of course, we fully respect our customers who decide to carry their babies to term. In fact, I'd like to point out that Taco Bell offers a wide variety of non-contraceptive menu items that can provide the crucial nutrients—such as mild sauce, shredded cheddar and beef—that a growing fetus needs to develop properly.'"

In KOMMIE Russia, bronze diamond gets you!


No, the Cold War is NOT over, comrades. The Great People's Army of Glorious Soviet Siftalist Republics has promoted Comrade KOMMIE to Supreme Diamond Commander of Soviet Video Forces. For half of Five Year Plan Comrade Commander KOMMIE has been part of Grand Siftalists Forces, and now glorious rank of Diamond - Bronze Order of Lenin is his reward. We make celebrate of Comrade KOMMIE's promotion by make vote to People's Queue, make drink of People's Vodka, spit on capitalist pig Digg, and make congratulate his Glorious achievement.

Attendance is mandatory, under penalty of gulag, Glorious Re-education, and death.

Send this Article to a Friend

Separate multiple emails with a comma (,); limit 5 recipients

Your email has been sent successfully!

Manage this Video in Your Playlists

New Blog Posts from All Members