The Dangles - Henry Earl

None more deserving of a musical tribute than Henry "James Brown" Earl, with 1000 public drunkenness convictions.
schmawysays...

Dangles Henry Earl Lyrics
(as best as I can tell)

I can't believe
We went to White Castle
On our first date
And I can't believe
I can't believe
I fucked you anyway.

And I can't believe
Your wife pretends
She doesn't know
You got back on Prozac
When it was time to go.

So tell,
Henry Earl
I wanna be his girl
He's the sanest guy in town
And he can dance just like James Brown
Unlike the other boys around
That made me cry.

So Henry Earl I wanna
Be his girl I want my
Apple wine on sale
Spend the night with him In Jail
And I know he won't post bail
Like other guys.

I can't believe you downed
Twenty two cans of PBR
And I can't believe
I can't believe
You shot up in my yard.

And I can't believe
You pretend that it was me
Who broke your heart
When you know damn well you left it
in that dirty bar.

So tell,
Henry Earl
I wanna be his girl
He's the sanest guy in town
And he can dance just like James Brown
Unlike the other boys around
That made me cry.

So Henry Earl
I wanna be his girl
And we can sleep on Jeremy's porch
(-------?)with plastic forks
And forget about the dorks
That said goodbye.

And I can't believe
You shoplifted my only
Birthday gift
And I can't believe
I can't believe
That it was still a
Piece of shit.

And I can't believe
you fucked up my best friends
little sis
Hell, even Henry Earl
Can surely do better
than this.

So tell,
Henry Earl
I wanna be his girl
He's the sanest guy in town
And he can dance just like James Brown
Unlike the other boys around
That made me cry.

So Henry Earl
I wanna be his girl
And wear other people's jeans
Sell pints of magic beans
And I know he won't
Crush my dreams
No not this time.

[Every fuck I know?]

Kevlarsays...

Quoth the Wiki:

Henry Earl's Arrest History on alcohol related offenses as of Tue Dec 8 00:03:02 2009 CST[5]
Number of Offenses 1011
Number of Lifetime Days Spent in Jail since 1992 4516
2009 Year to date offenses 11
2009 Days spent in jail 345
Average Days per year spent in jail since 1992 250.89
Average duration of incarceration since 1992 4.47 days
Average duration of freedom since 1992 2.01 days

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