The Westboro Baptist Church has really turned me around on this whole Hell thing. For that, I thank them.
Look at all the cool people going to hell! If you subscribe, you might be cool enough to get to hell, too. Or hot enough. On accounta the flames.
There's a certain church around, you know it well
They say a lot of people are going to hell
If you show any tolerance in hell you are put
You got a one way ticket that Westboro will foot
Hell is full of firemen, soldiers, and teachers
Philantrhopists and activists and innocent preachers
Celebrities and deities that ask circumcision
Because of this I've come to an important decision
Hell! Hell! I wanna go to hell!
It seems a really fun place to play
But I gotta do what's right and do it everyday
If I wanna go to hell someday.
Oh, Hell! I wanna go to hell!
So I gotta do what mom and dad say
I gotta love my neighbor even if they are gay
So I can go to hell someday.
Ellen's really nice, but she enjoys other ladies
Hugh Jackman doesn't mind, and so he's going to Hades
Woody Allen obviously cause he's a Jew
Also Princess Di, Mother Theresa, too
Washington and Jefferson and don't forget Lincoln
I can tell you now that their souls are-a-sinkin
Johnny Depp because he wears too much eyeliner
And Reese Witherspoon and overweight Rob Reiner
Elizabeth the first cause staying single's a sin
St. Maria Goretti cause she didn't give in
Spiderman is hell bound because he is fiction
Marlon Brando's also there because of his diction
Former Bush administrator Rice comma Condi
Tom Hanks, Will Smith, and don't forget Gandhi!
Hell is for environmentalist Al Gore
Even Christ is bound for hell cause he defended a whore
I'm right handed.
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