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Somebody's Daughter Gives Public Lap Dance at Stadium

1 decade 3 years 5 months 2 weeks ago

Did you wake up this morning to various emails asking “Hey, was that your kid drunkenly grinding on some dude who bought her some Miller Lite and a bag of peanuts?” Because somebody in America is about to start their day with a 1:58 viral video reminder that they should have done a better job teaching their little princess about the birds, bees, and avoiding camera phones.

It’s also possible that someone received the “Dude, your girlfriend is half naked on some guy’s lap at a Dallas Cowboys game” phone call too. The possibilities are literally endless.

(Note: The bigger story here might actually be that Jerry Jones has delivered on his promise to make his new stadium the most entertaining place on earth without having to actually win a football game. He’s the NFL owner equivalent of a restaurateur who hires extremely attractive waitresses so patrons don’t pay attention to how awful the food is. So yes, the Cowboys are basically the Hooters of the NFL.)