Who would you vote for: Bernie or Hillary?

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A total of 6 votes have been cast on this poll.

If the primary for the 2016 Democratic nomination for president were today, would you vote for Bernie Sanders or Hillary Clinton?

[Dream Log] Hello and welcome to planet mundane (Wtf Talk)

When I first awake from a dream, I can remember details with photographic accuracy, but if I wait too long they fade away forever. I had this vivid dream last night about a book that I needed to write, and in a waking stupor I wrote it all down -- but I wrote it down as it appeared to me in my dream: A rambling book inspired by God.

A word of warning: It's dream logic and punishing. I could have censored it but I didn't. I'll be honest, when I woke up I was frightened and the act of writing it down was frightening and kind of silly. Like an M. Night Shyamalan movie.

Book Title: Hello and welcome to planet mundane


This is a cautionary tale about eating poop and aborting babies in their third trimester -- but only if you're a man and having a baby injected into your body by God. If eating poop and aborting Holy man born babies isn't or is a problem for you, continue reading anyway and never consider turning away from your screen.

There may be horrible acts of violence described henceforth... or that may very well be a threat to weed out the weak willed and genetically inferior. I'm just kidding, there is no such thing as genetically inferior subjects -- and, oh yes, you are a subject. (Thus sayeth the Lord.)

But not because you are inferior. Because you are superior. You have adapted to strange and awful forms of verbal harassment and mental torture that only a post-sadist world can breed.

Welcome then, weary traveler, to planet mundane...

Chapter 1 titled Poop Grown Potatoes are the Best

I woke up, I ate breakfast, I went to my job, I defecated, I worked, I ate, I defecated -- and then I took my defecation and I used it to grow potatoes. The potatoes tasted like me and I grew to like that taste.

All I could think about was how good my poop grown potatoes tasted. Why did I like the flavor of me so much? Was it because I am innately delicious or was it because I hadn't tasted poop grown potatoes of another flavor?

Thus my quest to acquire the defecation of other primates to grow new, ever more flavorful poop potatoes.

Chapter 2 titled Rambo: First Poop

I traveled from the land of offices and political discourse to a land of lava flows and lush tropical forests with cannibals that eat white liberal hippies. I respect the tribes, but I don't respect their cannibalism. Why don't they eat poop grown potatoes like the civilized people who formed our global economy?

After escaping the cannibal lands alive, minus a hand and two feet, I found a world from a dream that I had when I was eight years old. I knew all of the roads, all of the buildings, and all of its inhabitants: they were the aggressive and obscure animals of white people legend.

This was exactly the type of defecation I needed to find.

The first new poop I searched for was that of an aggressive wombat named Phil. A wombat is not a primate but that's besides the point -- he is or was (I forget what tense I'm in because a book is just my words -- MY WORDS and MY THOUGHTS... Not yours...)

As I was saying -- and I really do require a line break to get my point accross (and I mean accross, not across) -- as I was saying -- in MY goddamn book -- as I was saying, Phil was or is not a primate but he is or was a candidate for next best poop. Mine being the best.


Phil's poop was delicious and I didn't bother to use it to grow potatoes. I just ate the poop. And now I live on Phil's poop alone.

"In Phil's poop I trust.
All hail Phil's poop."

Is what I carved in my forehead.

So I wrote a poem about it.

Chapter 3 titled The Poem

There once was a man from planet mundane
That liked the taste of the brown colored stain
In his pants (stare at this line of text for 5 seconds, please.)
Then (long dramatic pause as I silently weep -- please do not rush to the next line)
he ate (long dramatic pause) Phil's poop (loudly weeping)
Again and again

Chapter 4 titled In the Beginning

The End

Chapter 5 titled Actually the Beginning Because I Lied

I am a man but I became pregnant and decided to get an abortion. I took the aborted child, well into its third trimester, and set it before my God as an offering -- and a warning:

Dear God,

How DARE you impregnate me with your half god child. I aborted it because I knew only God could have done such a thing. A man having a baby? How and for what purpose?

I'll never let you breed your half god children onto this mundane planet where we eat Phil's poop. NEVER!

Love and Sincerely,

Chapter 6 titled And Behold My Aborted Man Baby Is Risen

It's probably come to your attention and your understanding, dear subject, that this is a very self aware book. In fact, it is alive. Not physically, no, but it is spiritually alive -- and it has the power to come out of your computer screen like in the Ring, all evil and dead to claim your soul.

Because that aborted man baby is real. And so too is Phil the wombat and the poop sandwiches I make. All for you. So that you can be entertained, you spiritually dead and noxious token human -- fearing and praying the book is false. It is real.

And spiritually guided by God so that only this word is truth (or Truth -- gosh, the inspired word of God is confusing and yet legally binding and a basis for all democracy)

"Anyway," sayeth the Lord, "What was I saying?" I don't know, God, I'm simply writing your word as you have inspired me -- "Ah yes, I remember: Behold! My Aborted Man Baby Is Risen!"

But it's my man aborted man baby. "No, it's not." God lied, knowing full well I was in a mode of thought guided by His will, thus totally able to read His mind.

"Ok," God said sheepishly. "You're right -- no, I'm right. I'm right. I'm ALWAYS right." Thus sayeth the Lord. "Good, you get it now."

Chapter 7 titled The Last Chapter Confused Me Please Provide Me With A Brief Synopsis

Well, dear reader, err subject -- reader subject -- Dear reader subject,

You can simply skip to Chapter 7, if you're studying for a test in your future religious studies class, but if you've already read it thus far then hahaha, the joke is on you. Anyway, sayeth the Lord:

Chapter 1 is about how the author of this Holy book grew potatoes using his own poop and then planted them. It does an alright job at explaining that the author is bored as hell and wants to get ill, but yet he just eats poop potatoes, sleeps, works, and eats more poop potatoes; then, he wonders if other people's poop flavored potatoes taste better, so he goes on a quest to find better poop.

You'll have to excuse me, because it's getting late and yet the Lord still inspires me to write this Holy and VERY evil religious text, which isn't parody -- and I'm not kidding, I am truly inspired by God and if you don't believe in Him, well, then he'll reach out of your computer like in the Ring and make all your horrors come true. No for real -- what horrible tragedies have occurred in your life? All of those will become your hell, at the bottom of a well, in undeath with that awful girl and her face obscuring, long, black hair. I wonder if she gets hair in her stomach? You know, Sayeth the Lord, if you consume enough hair, it will form a massive hair ball in your stomach requiring surgery? Did you know that? I wonder if she does?

Chapter 2 is about how the author of this Holy book found an aggressive wombat named Phil, whose poop was so delicious the author decided not to grow potatoes with it but to just straight up eat the poop. Straight up, Sayeth the Lord, so sayeth I: Straight up.

The mysterious author then carves the following in his forehead:

"In Phil's poop I trust.
All hail Phil's poop."

That's important to remember for your religious studies test, so if I were you (which I am on a level of subconscious understanding that all life is One) I would memorize that. By the way, please read all of this in an Austrailian accent because that's how I'm thinking it. It's ridiculous, but it's true. That's not in Chapter 2, but it will be on your test about Chapter 7 under "Things in Chapter 7 that weren't in any of the other chapters," Sayeth the Lord.

The subtext indicates that a government by the people and for the people was formed on the concept of eating Phil's poop. Strange to believe but it is the word of God. Inspired and word for word accurate.

Chapter 3 is a vaguely artsy and won't be on the test, Sayeth the Lord.

Chapter 4 is considered by some to be apocrypha because I don't know who wrote it -- in fact, because Holy text is now typed and stored digitally, it's difficult to authenticate any new truly inspired words of God, but it has been foretold that it may have been entirely copy/pasted from 4chan. Thus sayeth the Lord, in the most mysterious and confusing way possible.

Chapter 5 is about how the author (a man) became pregnant with a baby he believed to have been placed in his body by God. So he writes a letter to God, but only before aborting the baby well into the third trimester.

The author invokes the name of Phil and then politely pens his name as "me".

Chapter 6 is a warning to all those that read the text that they will be cursed like in the Ring, where the girl comes out of the television, except it's the wrath of God and somehow like a hell based upon all your worst life experiences. It's enough to make you mad, but it's not me that said all of this, it's God's word, Sayeth the Lord.

Chapter 7 is a synopsis of the previous chapters, with a few extra bits of information and possible explanations validated as 100%, as the are the words of God.

And Chapter 8 is in your brain. Just concentrate really hard and meditate upon the Lord your God for the answers to your religious studies test.


This is the hidden message and final message from God:

I am a lie and I did not abort a man baby -- you did. In your thoughts and in your dreams you abort man babies every day. And you're eating poop without even knowing it. It's the word of God from your dreams and dreams are real.

JUMP SCARE -- the girl from the Ring comes out of your computer and scares you dead. AAAHHHHHHHH..! AHHHHHHHHHH..! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH -- I farted.

Author's Last Words

It all started with an idle threat, descending into poop jokes and purported man baby abortions. It displayed blasphemous text likely guided by the actual Devil, whom I worship and sacrifice goats to, and then ultimately... ultimately it ended with a jump scare and then a fart joke.

How low has humanity come that one man would type such rubbish? Yes, let us project our insecurities and fears about the whole world onto one man and his ramblings.

(Sayeth the Lord -- aha! And you thought I was breaking character -- NO, it IS the inspired works of God! Repent! This is still the dream -- it's a dream interpretation inside of a dream interpretation.)

the world is a bit less brighter today (Death Talk)

videosift is an internet community that is rare in today's day and age.unlike sites like reddit where people become comfortable in anonymity,or the deluge of clickbait sites which seek solely to distract,titillate or shock.videosift over the years has become a haven for people who genuinely seek to share their interests,voice their opinion or just hang out.

some extraordinary people have frequented this site and shared their profound insights,revealed new perspectives and new ways of thinking,engaged in some glorious arguments and even a few all out brawls,but always with a humanity that most other sites lack.many of us have fostered real and genuine friendships.

on october 3rd videosift lost one if it's pioneer members who helped foster this amazing and very human atmosphere and i am here to sadly report that our own rascal cat schmawy Everett is no longer with us.

schmawy shall be greatly missed,for his brilliant wit,his disarming charm and an ability to bring a sly sense of humor to the most volatile of situations.

for those who may never had gotten the opportunity to interact with schmawy,you missed out on one the most human people i had ever the privilege to engage,for those who did know schmawy...well..then you know his soft ease and comfortable charm which would make him instantly likeable.


so if you would like to leave a memory here of your encounter with the human formerly known as schmawy.please..by all means..leave a comment.or if you are a facebook friend with him,go to his page:https://www.facebook.com/schmawy

so while the world is less bright today,
here is to you schmawy evereet.../tips glass
shine on you crazy diamond.

Is there a way to submit this 360 degrees Facebook video? (Geek Talk)

https://www.facebook.com/StarWars/videos/1030579940326940/ 's embed code shows:

<div id="fb-root"></div><script>(function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "//connect.facebook.net/en_US/sdk.js#xfbml=1&version=v2.3"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs);}(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk'));</script><div class="fb-video" data-allowfullscreen="1" data-href="/StarWars/videos/vb.169299103121699/1030579940326940/?type=3"><div class="fb-xfbml-parse-ignore">
Star Wars: The Force Awakens Immersive 360 Experience

Speed across the Jakku desert from Star Wars: The Force Awakens with this immersive 360 experience created exclusively for Facebook.

Posted by Star Wars on Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Thank you in advance.

Where People Click on Video Posts

Was just inspecting the hottest spots are on the new homepage and found it interesting/humorous to see where people tend to click, surely subconsciously. See the screenshot below.

People tend to click right where Key's and Peele's faces meet for their kiss in the thumbnail. In the title of that post, "Peele" and "Bloopers" are where clicks tend to go.

On the "hot chick" post the girl's posterior is highly targeted. And while the word "chick" is the most clicked word in the title, the "2 comments" link was clicked most for some reason.

Interesting stuff.

Top 17 Yogi Berra Quotes

RIP Yogi Berra. I always loved his quotes I heard growing up. Sometimes they even made sense to me. These are his top 17 quotes:

  1. "Pair up in threes."

  2. "All pitchers are liars or crybabies."

  3. "Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical."

  4. "It’s déjà vu all over again."

  5. "You can observe a lot by watching."

  6. "We made too many wrong mistakes."

  7. "If the people don’t want to come out to the ballpark, nobody’s going to stop them."

  8. "When you come to a fork in the road, take it."

  9. "The future ain’t what it used to be."

  10. "You should always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise, they won’t come to yours."

  11. "A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore."

  12. "Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded."

  13. "We were overwhelming underdogs."

  14. "It gets late early out here."

  15. "It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility."

  16. "I never said most of the things I said."

  17. "It ain't over 'til it's over."


Should we be able to downvote siftbot ?

  (8 votes)
  (1 vote)
  (1 vote)

A total of 10 votes have been cast on this poll.

Pretty self explanitory.

After years and years of not being able to downvote the siftbot or graterbot ( who is in fact greater, all hail graterbot ! ) I have not been able to downvote those user names.

I hereby call upon the sift to voice their Yes, No or ???

If we come together and voice ourselves, apparently the sift listens. LET'S MAKE THEM LISTEN ! ! ! ! DOWNVOTES FOR ALL ! ! Siftbot is not a bot, it is a user with bot like powers.

Zawash (Talks Talk)

Zawash has recently gained the RUBY level.

We shall all acknowledge this achievement and raise a toast to Zawash.

I would ask that Zawash explain his/her nickname choice.

Let us all engage Zawash for this notable accomplishment.

VideoSift v6 (VS6) Beta Front Page

It's been about 6 months since we launched our VS6 beta single-video page and we've finally now launched our new beta homepage.

As before, logged-in members have the option to disable this new beta version if desired, but we encourage everyone to at least give the new layout a few days of regular use if not to fall in love with it at least to give us some quality, informed feedback.

The new video listing is intended to be much more information dense and feel more community-oriented, and we feel it achieves those goals rather well and is a huge improvement over the VS5 homepage. We also wanted to bring back some of the essence of the much loved very-blue layout of VS4.

Let us know your thoughts below, and as always with changes in software bugs/issues are to be expected so feel free to let us know if anything seems broken.


Little Help Needed from Anyone with an iPhone 5

Do you have an iPhone 5 handy?

I have someone who needs tech support but they are only experiencing their problem in an iPhone 5. Every other device and browser works for her, just not iPhone 5.

I don't have an iPhone 5, so I can't test it out myself, but I'd like to prove one way or the other that the iPhone 5 is broken or that her phone is broken.

If you have an iPhone 5 and are willing to load a simple little web page to see if it works for you, can you please reply here? I'd appreciate it.

*Promotes for All

It's official; the community has spoken! The *promote and *doublepromote features are no longer reserved for Bronze Star members. Effective immediately, all non-probationary members are able to invoke promotions on other members' posts.

All members have always been able to self-promote, so nothing's changed there. Now as long as you have the requisite Power Points you can throw your big swinging promotes around.



This just in: Even if you're probationary, if your account is at least 2 years old, you too get to share in these wonderful superpowers.


Force Your PC to Upgrade to Windows 10 Immediately (Geek Talk)

Today Windows 10 was released and it's a free upgrade for most modern Windows machines. Microsoft is rolling out the upgrade across the planet in waves, but with the instructions below you can force your PC to upgrade without waiting. It's still at the "Preparing for installation" step on my computer now.

Instructions to Upgrade to Windows 10 Without Waiting in 4 Steps:
  1. Make sure your computer is fully updated using Windows Update - that's how the Get Windows 10 app is installed; you'll see a little white Windows icon in your system tray (by the clock)
  2. Open that Get Windows 10 app and reserve your free copy of Windows 10
  3. Open a cmd.exe window as Administrator (right-click and choose Run as Administrator)
  4. In Windows Update click "Check for updates" and before it's finished checking, quickly go back to the cmd prompt and enter: wuauclt.exe /updatenow
    Windows Update will immediately start downloading Windows 10
If that doesn't work, you can just download the Windows 10 installer.


I was getting some error with the Windows Update method, so I opted to just download. I don't know why everyone doesn't just do that to begin with.

In any case, I'm fully upgraded to Windows 10!

So far so good. Not really exploring it because I'm busy working, but I freaking love the virtual desktop feature. Finally I don't have to fill up my task bar with all my many tabs. I now have a different desktop for each different set of apps I'm working on together. This is life-changing for me.

Should full promoting privileges be available to all non-probationary members?

  (14 votes)
  (4 votes)

A total of 18 votes have been cast on this poll.

Just trying to move things along since Retroboy's SiftTalk "How about a little love for long-time but low-star members?"

It came up in the thread that it is a bit absurd that long-time members in good standing who don't reach silver or bronze can accrue tons of power points but can't actually use them on anything except to promote their own videos. Since most of them who stay at that level are not interested in submitting vids but are interested in participating on the site, this poll is asking whether Sifters think it would be okay if non-probies had full promote privileges (in other words, they could promote either their own or other Sifters' videos). This would allow them to spend their power points altruistically by promoting others' vids to greatness.

I can't foresee any problems with allowing it, but if you think of an issue go ahead and bring it up in the comments.

How about a little love for long-time but low-star members?

http://videosift.com/video/Dont-Stay-In-School is one example: Please see comment #6, #7 and #8

Been a low-traffic member for six years now, longer except my first account was lost in the crash of 2008. Sure, I haven't submitted much, but even the ability for me to HELP SOMEONE ELSE'S QUALITY VIDEO is restricted. It's very frustrating.

A review and retool of the policies for this site seems to be in order. There's way too many restrictions on someone who has been a faithful, low-trouble but infrequently contributing member of this site for a very long time. And I would bet that the barriers to other, newer contributors are frankly too high.

Jennifer Briney,Congressional Dish

Jen Briney, host of Congressional Dish, reads the bills passed by the House of Representatives and tells you what's in them: No talking points, no corporate filter. I have been following Jennifer's podcast Congressional Dish for over a year now. I discovered her on the No Agenda stream. She will be on "Off the Grid" with Jesse Ventura. Below is a link her appearance.


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