shagen454

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Member Since: April 6, 2009
Last Power Points used: January 17, 2010
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Comments to shagen454

siftbot says...

Your video, Stunt Woman, has made it into the Top 15 New Videos listing. Congratulations on your achievement. For your contribution you have been awarded 1 Power Point.

bareboards2 says...

Yes and no.

I'm glad you got safely through Crazy Druggy Woman with body and soul intact. But I don't see you ... exploring that experience... as a "big concern."

I was a young person in the late 70s, post birth control, pre-AIDS. I did some really stupid stuff, too. A lot of us did.

The internet just lets you do it faster and hook up without going to a bar.

So there is the agreement -- it really is just a construct of organic existence!

shagen454 said:

I mean now that I think about it jotting it down and reliving the past a bit - it raises a big concern.

The things that you do in anonymity on the Internet actually do affect the lives and everything around you. You may have thought that you found this secret black hole but it's not true. It will still affect other's and people that you know. It's a metaphor for how life works and the Internet is just a construct of organic existence.

bareboards2 says...

Sorry - my communication skills are lacking. I didn't mean to suggest that YOU were cray-cray. Just that cray-cray was .... attractive to you. Big, big BIG difference. And I only made the cray-cray comment because you deciding to meet this woman even though you knew beforehand she was "obviously slightly psychotic."

Personally, I would avoid an "obviously slightly psychotic" stranger. You didn't. Hence my comment.

Does NOT make you slightly psychotic. Just that you perhaps find slightly psychotic intriguing. (So do I, but at a distance!)

And yes. Absolutely. Under no circumstances is it okay to drug someone. That is seriously creepy. I'm no Bible quoter, but I'm sure if I knew the Ten Commandments by heart, doing something like that must violate at least two or three of them!

shagen454 said:

Well, I would actually say that I am very conservative when it comes to relationships and sex. Sure, I have done some bizarre things but that I am not into necessarily; but for experience points they were experiences that I brought onto myself somehow.

Am I cray cray? I would say that I think I am absolutely nuts compared to this society that is based in lies. I have found shit out by being a curious cat and I have only found it to be much crazier than my initial conservative inclinations. It's all a grand learning experience.

That said... NO ONE should ever drug someone into their fucking bed. That is a part of the Ten Commandments or something, right?

bareboards2 says...

You like a little cray-cray, don't you?

Dude.

I'm impressed.

shagen454 said:

That time I should mention was from an Internet hookup. I mean, if you do that you might as well be aware of the "worst case scenerio". And it was not the worst case scenerio. I screened this girl, she was, cute, cool & obviously slightly psychotic. So, when I woke up totally butt-naked, we got breakfast and I was like WTF? And she was like, "You're never going to call me again are you".? And I said "Yes I will" and thought "No, I fucking won't!"

Two months later... I saw her walking down the street with my ex singer of my old band. I said "What is up John?" And looked at her with a sort of "SHHHH!!!" (we won't acknowledge each other). Who knows if she (SHE!! LOL) told him.

bareboards2 says...

Wow. That is some SERIOUS harassment.

And yes. Having drugs slipped into a drink is DEFINITELY harassment.

I'm quite proud of your nonchalance over the gay man stuff. You are definitely secure in your sexuality. I have never understood why some men feel violent in response to being even mildly flirted with. As is pointed out many times, women have learned to say no without flipping out, what is these guy's problem.

You, my friend, do not have a problem. You are indeed a cool dude.

And I'm sorry you were chased on the street and drugged. That is shitty.

shagen454 said:

In the past the most sexual harassment has come from gay men and usually verbally. They are kinky bastards, The most recent episode came from a dude following me down a city block from the train that asked if he could "suck my dick". And I sort of giggled, and was like "nah man". And we had a conversation about it further and I told him, "It's cool, man... I'm just not really into it". He was INSULTED and walked away.

I had also been taken advantage of by a girl who put drugs into my hard liquor. Technically, in my opinion, I think it was a sort of assault because, honestly, I just had no idea what was going on, but, I am cool with it and just left it at that.

There are more instances - but I mean these days I live one train stop to San Fran but not in SF - that is like a suburb in the city and I am cool... I've put it all in perspective and appreciate living just a jump from "The Shit".

I know my friend is strong but yet she does not put up with bullshit. She is also batshit insane as well but in a good way. She approaches life as art every single day. She is a true being and a true woman. We throw around the concept of having a relationship and honestly, I DO love her. When we say goodbye as we have over the last decade she will say "I love you"... I told her how much I love her once but when we part... I just smile. She knows I love her. If the topic is raised I always say to her... it's just not in the cards

shagen454 says...

In the past the most sexual harassment has come from gay men and usually verbally. They are kinky bastards, The most recent episode came from a dude following me down a city block from the train that asked if he could "suck my dick". And I sort of giggled, and was like "nah man". And we had a conversation about it further and I told him, "It's cool, man... I'm just not really into it". He was INSULTED and walked away.

I had also been taken advantage of by a girl who put drugs into my hard liquor. Technically, in my opinion, I think it was a sort of assault because, honestly, I just had no idea what was going on, but, I am cool with it and just left it at that.

There are more instances - but I mean these days I live one train stop to San Fran but not in SF - that is like a suburb in the city and I am cool... I've put it all in perspective and appreciate living just a jump from "The Shit".

I know my friend is strong but yet she does not put up with bullshit. She is also batshit insane as well but in a good way. She approaches life as art every single day. She is a true being and a true woman. We throw around the concept of having a relationship and honestly, I DO love her. When we say goodbye as we have over the last decade she will say "I love you"... I told her how much I love her once but when we part... I just smile. She knows I love her. If the topic is raised I always say to her... it's just not in the cards

bareboards2 said:

No need to apologize.

I just wanted to get that little bit out there.

There is so much misinformation about the nature of this shite.

I didn't want to put my little comment on the comment stream, because I didn't want to distract from the TOTALLY COOL story you shared.

So I snuck it over here, for those folks who read all comments.

I was sharing my bit for my own purposes, sneaky devil that I am. Sorry you thought I was sending a different message -- I totally DID NOT think that you were saying she deserved it.

I think there is something different for men being sexually harassed than there is for women, since you brought it up.

Speaking from experience, I am -- I keep saying that my first reaction was to slough off the assault against me as funny. It was amazing to watch myself descend into this ... quagmire... of sexual objectification within 15 minutes. To be seen as nothing other than a piece of female meat available for this tiny guy to rub against. To feel so invisible as a person was a double violation. Or something.

Women aren't praised for what we do, mostly -- we are praised for what we look like. And when you look at the variety of men and male body shapes that are presented on TV and in the movies, compared to women -- and the active nature of the men versus the passive nature of women presented -- and this is the toxic soup that all young girls grow up in.... To be reduced like that was just horrifying. I was surprised at my reaction.

Men have their own issues, of course. It is not for nothing that men tend to die sooner than women -- the pressures on them are terrible in their own way and it is literally killing them, in my opinion.

So it doesn't surprise me that you could laugh it off and let it stay laughed off. You are used to seeing yourself as active. While I laughed it off, and then got mired in this crappy sexual objectification that is so toxic.

It's all so ugly.

I'm so proud of your beautiful strong friend. She didn't deserve what happened to her, no woman does, and I know you know that. And dang if she didn't fight back with everything she had. That is how this shite stops. Make the bastards accountable. Right now they aren't.

Great story you told. Really great.

bareboards2 says...

No need to apologize.

I just wanted to get that little bit out there.

There is so much misinformation about the nature of this shite.

I didn't want to put my little comment on the comment stream, because I didn't want to distract from the TOTALLY COOL story you shared.

So I snuck it over here, for those folks who read all comments.

I was sharing my bit for my own purposes, sneaky devil that I am. Sorry you thought I was sending a different message -- I totally DID NOT think that you were saying she deserved it.

I think there is something different for men being sexually harassed than there is for women, since you brought it up.

Speaking from experience, I am -- I keep saying that my first reaction was to slough off the assault against me as funny. It was amazing to watch myself descend into this ... quagmire... of sexual objectification within 15 minutes. To be seen as nothing other than a piece of female meat available for this tiny guy to rub against. To feel so invisible as a person was a double violation. Or something.

Women aren't praised for what we do, mostly -- we are praised for what we look like. And when you look at the variety of men and male body shapes that are presented on TV and in the movies, compared to women -- and the active nature of the men versus the passive nature of women presented -- and this is the toxic soup that all young girls grow up in.... To be reduced like that was just horrifying. I was surprised at my reaction.

Men have their own issues, of course. It is not for nothing that men tend to die sooner than women -- the pressures on them are terrible in their own way and it is literally killing them, in my opinion.

So it doesn't surprise me that you could laugh it off and let it stay laughed off. You are used to seeing yourself as active. While I laughed it off, and then got mired in this crappy sexual objectification that is so toxic.

It's all so ugly.

I'm so proud of your beautiful strong friend. She didn't deserve what happened to her, no woman does, and I know you know that. And dang if she didn't fight back with everything she had. That is how this shite stops. Make the bastards accountable. Right now they aren't.

Great story you told. Really great.

shagen454 said:

I do apologize about by pointing out that she was "totally pretty". She is extremely pretty and we have uh, have been more than "pals" in the past. I did not mean to say that she was "asking" for it if that is what you mean. I was just pointing out that yes, she makes my heart beat very fast and if I had not known her and was in that Safeway I would have seen her and my heart would have raced for a second as I exited the building.

It happens in San Francisco and one could say that their are many attractive men, women and transgender people in the city. Sexual harassment here is absolutely off the fucking charts. There is NEVER an excuse for it no matter what. I've even been sexually assaulted on occasion, but never anything off the charts - so I can just laugh it off.

bareboards2 says...

By the way -- it isn't always women looking "totally pretty" who get assaulted.

At the time of my assault, I was wearing drooping MC Hammer pants and I was seriously chubby.

And when I was 14 and looked goofy as hell, a bunch of guys called out to my friend and me as we walked by "those legs look like they can fuck." I barely knew what the word meant, and they were cat calling two 14 year old girls?

Pretty has little to do with it.

shagen454 said:

I have yet another story to add about this.

One of my better female pals got in contact with me about 2 months ago by standing outside of where I worked waiting for me to come out.

I walked out of the office and was surprised to see her but she was agitated. She had a CD in her hand that she could not figure out how to load on her computer and said that two men had assaulted her in a Safeway; but had the evidence on the CD's.

I let her know that I would absolutely try and figure this out and that the discs were safe with me, I wasn't going to misplace them, etc etc.

She had gone to the security of Safeway (a third party company inside Safeway) and asked for the tapes of the times but they gave her some sort of strange format - you had to install a really shitty program and then the evidence was just a small window on the screen.

I figured out how to export the videos high resolution & full screen.

Basically, what happened was she was at a Coinstar and totally looking very pretty but these dudes came up behind her and leveraged their stuff towards her and grabbed her ass, twice. Once coming in and leaving.

When they left and did the same thing, this strong woman who I know, flipped out. She ran out after them but a cop was already waiting for one of them.

They had both been stealing shit all day long and garnered the attention of the authorities and the cops were on to them. Probably, very high on drugs.

Later it was found out that one of the dudes raped a child and also ran over a person as a hit and run.

She helped prosecute them in court and had no idea that the black hole went as deep as it did when she pressed charges for basic harassment.

enoch says...

thats exactly what i did.joining the navy helped but i have lived on 3 continents and multiple cities.it REALLY makes a difference on so many levels.

the downvotes dont make any sense to me really.
i applaud you my friend.

shagen454 said:

I lived there for 19 years. As far as I know it has only improved. I don't mind being down-voted for having wanted to and being proud of moving as far as possible away from my "home" as I possibly could. It's all about adventure and challenging concepts; getting out of your comfort zones; it paid off nicely. I doubt I would have found one of the most confounding experiences of the Universe that a human can have if I had not begun challenging everything I was taught in such a closed-off, conservative place. I grew up close to Amish country! It actually took some willpower in order to start shedding and rebuilding a lot of ideas about the way thing's actually work as opposed to the ways the media tells one how it works.

lurgee says...


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