Squirrels are stupidly determined little fuckers when it comes to nuts.

I used to have a bar fridge out on my patio and one day, I threw a bag of peanuts into it because it seemed like a good idea at the time. Anyway, the next day I came out onto the patio and the fridge door was open and the nuts were gone. The little bastards actually chewed through the soft magnetic strip holding the door closed and managed to get the door open and abscond with my hard-earned nuts.

I got even, 'tho -- kinda.

On the corner of our block, we had this big green thing that was a cover for some pretty high voltage stuff underneath. I threw some peanuts under the gap between the cover and the ground and waited. Sure's shit, here comes one cocky fucking squirrel lookin' to score my nuts. Under the cover he goes then --FLASH!! -- BOOM!! -- victory over squirrels! Only he took the power out for the entire block and the surge fried my brand-new Pentium Pro computer. Oh, and one of my neighbors narced me off to PG&E who were none-too-happy with my brilliantly-laid trap and my erstwhile vengeance over genus Sciurus.

I know a lot of people would ask me, "Well, what did you learn from all this?", to which I'd reply, "Not a damned thing."

Are you saying racism doesn't exist or that it doesn't have negative consequences?

This is spam

Newt,

I was riffing off the statement told to the presenter that 'one black person is pleasant company; 50 black people are a ghetto.'

Obviously, I don't believe that white people gather in numbers just for the sole purpose of lynching. It's possible that Lynyrd Skynyrd is in town.

One white person is pleasant company; 50 white people are a lynch mob waiting to happen.

The History Guy and the guy who does the WW1 videos are both total YouTube gems. And neither of them eat Tide pods.

Let Devin Townsend do Garfunkle's lines.

*promote

I do love me some Dead!

*promote

I hope these guys are paid insanely well.

Spray-paint huffing gone wrong.

That's gotta be 2,500 calorie, easily.

Thank you, nice telephone lady, for showing me how to write down numbers. I am more the edified.

They're preparing for the next time the Germans show up uninvited.