oy. fuck me sideways.

The lord Jehova has given unto you these fifteen…Oy...ten. Ten Commandments for all to obey!

Please let this be at least 1/2 as good as the original.
*doublepromote *quality old school irreverent funny.

Let's use this thread to tell one offensive joke each. Nothing off-limits, no holds barred, let it fly. And if Bob doesn't chime in on this one, I'm gonna be disappointed.

Here's mine:

So a Jew is standing in line to go to the gas chamber at Auschwitz and he's kvetching.

"Oy," he moans, "This is the worst day of my life! First the Nazis kill my family, then everything I own is stolen, and now I'm in line to be gassed. God please, PLEASE, send me some relief in my final moments on earth!"

At that moment, a mighty thunderclap sounds and millions of scorpions start falling from the sky.

"God be praised!" the Jew cries out in joy, "Free scorpions!"

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Cameraman Oy! If Gronk flinched while burning hot shells seared his calf's, it'd be a mess.

: )

*ban
Lokkhi Sona
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sjjWnVB-oY

Our country reeks of trees
Our yaks are really large
And they smell like rotting beef carcasses
And we have to clean up after them
And our saddle sores are the best
We proudly wear womens' clothing
And searing sand blows up our skirts
And the buzzards, they soar overhead
And poisonous snakes will devour us whole
Our bones will bleach in the sun
And we will probably go to HELL
And that is our great reward
For being the roy-oy-al Canadian Kilted Yaksmen

When I visited Dublin from Connecticut I was talking to this friendly couple in a bar. I was writing down their address to stay in touch with them and the girl was spelling their address and she said "oy". I drew a blank, she kept saying it and I had no idea so I gave her the pen and she wrote the letter "i". We all had a good laugh.

Oy veh... mashugana...

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