They do midget porn in Game of Thrones?! Why am I wasting my time with True Blood?

>> ^rottenseed:
Would definitely improve my workout routine...
Your routine of getting off the couch to get more cheez-its and masturbating profusely to midget porn?

You forgot my egg-shaped masturbation gizmos.

Would definitely improve my workout routine...

Your routine of getting off the couch to get more cheez-its and masturbating profusely to midget porn?

If your internet connection sucks, let me know. I'll just have to burn some DVDs for you so you can get your tranny-obama-look-a-like-midget porn fix.

What's a walk on the moon compared with instant access to midget porn and Brazilian fart fetish porn ...

The quality of American cinema hit rock bottom with blankfist trying to become a director. After years of starring in movies like "When a man loves a horse" and "Blankfist and the seven dwarves", he felt he was ready to make his own movies. After directing and co-starring in a number of gay midget porn films he got his big break and was quickly dubbed as the next Michael Bay in tinseltown. However, he fell out of grace with the studios when they discovered he ended most scenes with youtube videos of farting cats and the credits simply saying "a$$gr@vy". The fact that Ron Paul got a restraining order on blankfist for sending him used manthongs didn't help his reputation either.

"Blankfist: The epitome of mediocracy" will air on HBO later this year.

There are two wars, serious issues in Iran currently, the economy is in the crapper depending which company you work for, North Korea is apparently trying to see if Japan and the U.S. can shoot down medium range missiles or rather create fire works that could lead to a confrontation, lots of severe weather recently across the U.S., the Republican Party will soon be ordering massive amounts of Lithium for their' Senators, Congressmen, and the party's supporters; Rush already has his stuff - it's not Lithium though; and the LA Lakers won the NBA Championship...

Yet, Republicans are worried about some joke, that they never even saw; *but they did get the email from their cousin Jeremy who had talked a week ago to an old friend from college that was in the "young republicans student organization" with him, and his friend told him that the GOP fundraising committee in Florida had sent out an email to contributors (he's one) that linked them to Rush Limbaugh's page which then showed him the current liberal attack and he started spreading it to his contact list; he also made sure that every single person in his list forwarded it to everyone in their contact list (He also wrote up a small summary so nobody had to go look up the information which is hard to do with computers in their current form. Hell, if you leave MSN or Excite you always go to a German scat site with midget porn, or a page talking about Obama's and Clinton's accomplishments.) . SO, let it be known, David Letterman rapes people with his mouth.

* Untold truth behind Republicans secret intelligence gathering operations.

/sarcasm...sort of

Naah, Santa didn't even bring the midget porn I asked for. Fuck him. (But that's another porn.)

Happy 2009, mon ami.

In reply to this comment by MrConrads:
Hey Krono!
How ya been man? Really hope all has been going well for you. Have a good christmas? Did you get those tinker toys you were hoping for?

@schmawy: I didn't hear any complaining when the strawberry jelly was on your muzzle, you kinky bastard. Now behave yourself, I've got a new rifle to try out, kitty cat...

@blankfist: Gay jokes from blankfist...what a surprise! I hope your movies are more original than your comments, or you'll be back to directing gay midget porn soon enough.

@MycroftHolmez: I'm sure that would be somewhat funny if I had seen some geeky movie. Instead it's uninspired and boring. Like you, mycroft.

@mas8705: the channel envy is plain to see. Rocknroll is for men, videogames are for boys...and fat, ugly mid-30s losers who still live with their mom...looking your way, mas.

@kulpims: your name suddenly came up on the list of potential sacrifices.

@firefly: we Europeans aren't squeemish when it comes to phallic land masses...you damn prude.

@Zifnab: you know all that talk of me being Mr. Peanut was just a trick to get you to suck my salty nuts? Worked perfectly. His dark helmet bobbing forwards and backwards...memories.

@gorgonheap: you succesfully killed your own joke, not to mention what little respect you might still have had here, with that last comment. How can I kill something that is already dead?

@laura: look who the stalker is now...I want you to tear up that restraining order, laura!

@calvados: you did that with your ex-"girlfriend" as well. I've seen the pictures...no room for doubt.

@gwiz665: Give me a challenge! This is a guy who sits in front of his computer all day, drinking cola and jerking off at regular intervals. He probably wears glasses too. His idea of wit is quoting Futurama. Despite being heterosexual, he hangs out in gay bars because no woman will speak to him. His mother makes up stuff about him so her friends won't think Lil' Nicky is as pathetic as he is. All in all, we're all richer people for not knowing this guy in person.

@nibiyabi: My hairy back and busted knuckles are powerful aphrodisiacs. Just ask your grandma.

@thinker247: I was looking forward to ripping you a new one, but then you end up praising my name. Bullet dodged for now...

@Crosswords: I'll make an exception and eat ice cream from your decapitated skull. THEN I'll get romantic with said skull. That knife-wielding raccoon won't be able to help you then.

@alien_concept: I think I prefer you keep sending me nude pictures of yourself instead of stuff like this. I know you crave my attention, but like I told you after those inappropriate phone calls you made: "I don't dig bald chicks or wooden legs". And I know you've tried to better yourself, but honestly; 3 teeth, no matter how white, are still 29 too few. Keep looking, Rae, I'm sure there are some guys in the damaged goods department that might go for you.

@NordlichReiter: ...and I'd do it again. And again. Then I probably wouldn't care anymore.

@my15minutes: your 15 minutes were up 5 minutes after you were born, you uninteresting spellchecker you!

@rougy: who are you, why should I care...and why are you wearing my dirty boxers as a hat?

@dotdude: I hear roast of dotdude is a Creole delicacy...

Rottenseed posted this, Pink Floyd's "Atom Heart Mother," as performed by students (I'm guessing) at the Paris Conservatory. It's about 35 minutes long, so it may be something you'll need to listen to in the background while you're watching your midget porn:

http://www.videosift.com/video/Pink-Floyds-Atom-Heart-Mother

I don't mind that she was offended, since some people can't help but be nitpicking douches, but to complain to the state's AG? Come on, hag. Lighten up and have a burger. Then get shit-faced at a strip club and do body shots off a midget porn star. Holy fuck.

You may want to live to be a 95-year-old bore, but I want to have some fun in life. How far away is that place from Boise, MG?

Sorry I'm late to post here, but I just woke from my week-long hangover.

But seriously, I understand the plight of wrongly mixed drinks. I once mixed Four-dollar-fifth of gin with Diet 7-Up. I thought I was going to hurl BEFORE I was drunk. Which is a crime in Kuwait, I think.

A short list of great drinks that have made me do terrible things to bar stools:

AMF (Adios, Motherfucker)
Long Island Iced Tea (tip the bartender for that extra special Kelsey Grammer amount)
Cherry Bomb ("Bomb" is right. I think I invaded a sovereign nation while drunk on 13 of those fuckers.)
Rattlesnake (something involving Kahlua, Creme de Cacao and taking off my pants at a house party.)

However, the worst combination I have ever tried:

A six-pack of Bud Light chased with an entire pint of Jagermeister and a few swigs of Goldschlager. You don't even want to know the medium Jackson Pollock used in THAT bathroom!

Now it's time to get drunk on PBR and watch midget porn.