20 reasons Jesus was a communist, pacifist, tax-and-spend liberal hippie

Just off the top of my head: 

1.  He threw the moneychangers out of the temple and called them theives.  They were just ordinary businessmen in a laissez-faire economy. 

2.  He said, "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven."

3.  He encouraged people to give everything they could, and promised that god would support everyone in need.  Just like socialism.

[edit]Matthew 19:21
Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."[/edit]

4.  "turn the other cheek"

5. "love thy enemy"

6.  "blessed are the peacemakers"

7. "blessed are the meek"

8. "woe unto ye who are rich"

 9. "forgive our debts, as we forgive our debtors" -- clearly he would favor bailing out poor people with subprime mortgages.

10. "Give us this day our daily bread" -- what a sense of entitlement to demand handouts!!! 

 11. "Every mountain shall be made low, every valley shall be exalted" --although this is actually from Isaiah's prophecy about the messiah, it looks like a metaphor for proletarian revolution

 12.  Some early christians (before 200BC) actually established agricultural communes.

 13. Jesus is soft on crime: anybody who believes in his scapegoat-like sacrifice will be forgiven.

 14. Jesus loves the poor, the prostitutes, the lepers,  etc.   And he gave them free healthcare!  That's not what Ronald Reagan or John McCain would do.

15. Jesus said nothing about or against homosexuality.

 16. "and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy father which is in secret" -- clearly Jesus opposes school prayer.

 17. Jesus performed the "miracle of the loaves and fish" -- divine government handouts for the poor.

 18. "ask and it shall be given to you.  Seek and ye shall find.  Knock and the door shall be opened" -- giving the poor a sense of entitlement

 19.  "Blessed are the merciful"

 20.  "And if any man will sue thee, and take away thy cloak, let him have thy coat also.  And whosoever shall compell thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away"   --  He clearly favors caving in to terrorist demands, and giving the poor everything they want.   Pacifist hippie communist!!!

 

So why do people who call themselves "christian conservatives" have nearly opposite views to most of the things in this list? 

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